


Captain's Pet

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: All sex between members of the I.S.S. Enterprise is concentual, Emotional Abuse, M/M, Minor James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Minor Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Nyota Uhura, Mirror Universe, Nyota Uhura/Spock (Mentioned), Physical Abuse, Save Leonard from me, he deserves better, the only rape that happen's is quick and with the OMC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-20 15:48:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9498971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: Leonard come's to the I.S.S. Enterprise with his Captain for a quick visit, but his life is turned upside down when a particular Vulcan takes an interest in him.





	1. Arrival

Making his way into the transporter room, Jim raised an eyebrow when he saw Spock already standing there waiting for him. “Mr. Spock, I’m starting to think that you’re excited for Captain Barrell’s visit.” He joked, smirking when the half-Vulcan looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

    “It is appropriate procedure to meet all captains and high rank officers in the transporter room, sir.” Spock pointed out calmly, keeping his hands behind his back while the captain made his way over to his side. “Not to mention that Captain Barrell is said to be the second most ruthless in the Terran Empire.”

        “I hope you’re suggesting that I’m the first.” Smirked Jim.

  “No one else compares, sir.” Nodding his head, Jim glanced over at Scotty and gave him the go ahead to start the transporter. He didn’t want to keep the other captain waiting too long, after all. He had so much to show him. 

The transporter sprang to life under Scotty’s touch, beaming Captain Barrell and one other crew member over to the ship. Watching carefully, Jim smirked as the two men began to materialize into his transporter room. The other captain stood tall and proud, a smirk on his face to match Jim’s and a gleam in his eye that told Jim this would be an interesting visit indeed.

The other man, however, was somehow far more interesting. Dressed in his science blues, he stood straight with his hands clasped behind his back in much the same way that Mr. Spock did. A soft blue collar sat around his neck, matching his uniform shirt and the startling blue eyes that glanced around the room to examine the three people in front of him. Jim was certain this was going to be an even more interesting visit than he’d first thought, especially when he looked over at Spock and saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw the other man. 

“Captain Kirk!” Barrell made his way down the transporter pad toward Jim, clasping him on the shoulder as soon as he was close enough. “It’s nice to see you could take time out of your busy schedule to entertain us for a few days.”

“Well, I couldn’t let you pass me by without seeing what a real ship runs like.” Barrell glared back at the man he had brought along with him when he snorted. “And who is this, Captain? Someone fun, I hope.”

“Fun for you? Not a chance!” The other captain smirked. “This is my Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy.”

“He seems like a little more than your CMO, Captain,” stated Spock, his eyes locked on the blue collar around McCoy’s neck. 

“Well,” Barrell gave his shoulders a shrug and held one hand out towards the doctor. It took a moment for McCoy to respond, but when he did he quickly made his way down from the transporter pad and to his captain’s side, ducking his head when Barrell laced his fingers into his hair. “Someone has to take care of him, Mr. Spock. Leave him alone too long, and he’ll go and get himself killed. Man’s far too sentimental and kind for the job he has.”

Spock raised an eyebrow at the sound of that, a gesture that meant Jim needed to put an end to the conversation as quickly as possible. Usually he would enjoy the power play that would happen between the two men. It was always interesting to see how two people could fight over someone else, but this time he needed his first officer to stay out of trouble. Barrell may have been the second most ruthless captain in the ranks, but he had even more ruthless admirals backing him up. Admirals who would have no problem taking out a half-Vulcan who tried to take their friend’s property.

“Why don’t I show you to the bridge first?” He offered, waving a hand towards the door “If you’d like Mr. Spock can show the Doctor to Medical. I’m sure he can find something...fun to do there.”

“No.” Barrell took his hand out of McCoy’s hair. “He stays by my side. He may be sentimental, but he’s also a smartass. You put him in a room with your people, and I’ll be looking for a new Chief Medical officer.”

“Not that you have a functioning one.” The Doctor grumbled under his breath, grunting when Barrell reached back and grabbed hold of his collar, using it to pull him close. “I said nothing, sir.” He corrected himself, wincing when Barrell narrowed his eyes at him.

“That’s what I thought.” The captain growled, shoving McCoy back a few steps and watching as he brought a hand up to his neck. “Let’s go. I’m eager to see Captain Kirk’s crew.”

“You just want to see what a real crew looks like.” Jim smirked, linking his arm with Barrell’s and pulling him towards the door while Doctor McCoy followed. Taking a second to look back into the transporter room, Jim clenched his jaw when he saw Spock examining the doctor from behind. If this kept up, it was going to be a long week indeed.

  
  



	2. Approach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock uses an opportunity that Captain Kirk gives him to make his interest in Doctor McCoy known.

After examining the crew on the bridge, Captain Barrell followed Kirk down the hallway toward the crew quarters and stopped in front of Kirk’s door.

Kirk turned around to face Barrell, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking. “I had thought we could have a drink together, just the two of us…” He glanced over at the Doctor, watching as he clenched his jaw but otherwise kept his mouth shut. Anyone who knew Kirk knew exactly what he meant when he talked about drinks.  Sure it included alcohol, but that was only a small part of it.

“Well, I think I can find some time in my busy schedule,” agreed Barrell, one hand reaching back to grab the doctor’s shoulder and pushing downward until McCoy’s knees buckled and he fell into a kneeling position. “I assume your crew will be good and keep their hands off my property?”

“Mr. Spock will make sure of that,” Jim confirmed, glancing over at his first officer. This was the only chance he could give Spock for some alone time with his new object of obsession. He hoped the half-Vulcan would remember that next time Jim needed something from him.

With that said and done, Jim opened the door to his personal quarters and stepped inside. When Captain Barrell didn’t immediately follow, Jim glanced back to check what was going on and smirked when he saw the other Captain kneeling down in front of his pet.

“You be a good boy,” he said sternly, reaching out to cup McCoy’s cheek and forcing the doctor to look him in the eye. “Make sure you don’t cause any trouble and I’ll see if I can save some energy for you.”

“Me, trouble?” McCoy smirked at the suggestion, hissing when Barrell dug his fingernails into his chin.

    “That is the opposite of being good,” warned Barrell, releasing his grip on McCoy’s chin only when the doctor nodded his head in understanding. From where he was standing, Jim could see the faint red marks Barrell’s finger nails left behind on the doctor’s skin, and the way that his first officer’s shoulders drew together in annoyance. Spock was a ruthless man, sometimes even more so than Jim, but if there was one thing he didn’t like it was people who didn’t know how to treat their property. It was either that, or Spock was jealous that it was Barrell’s marks on the doctor's face and not his own.

With that display of power finished, Jim watched as Barrell straightened up and followed him into his personal quarters.

 

* * *

 

Once the door to Captain Kirk’s quarters had closed, Spock took his chance and closed the distance between himself and Doctor McCoy. There was only a slight quiver in the Doctor’s lips when the Vulcan knelt down to his left, a good reaction in Spock’s opinion. A certain amount of fear meant that he would be able to control McCoy. However, from the display Captain Barrell had made just a few moments ago, Spock could already tell that getting McCoy under his control would be difficult. He needed to play the long game with this one, and unfortunately he only had a few days until Captain Barrell returned to his ship with the doctor in tow.

This endeavor was going to be challenging, but it would be worth it if Spock ended up with what he wanted.

“You are a prize.” Spock commented, reaching out to brush his fingers against McCoy’s cheek and watching as the doctor flinched away from the touch. Snarky, yet well trained. Spock could work with that. “How does someone worth so much end up with a second rate Captain?”

Rather than responding, Leonard clenched his jaw and trained his eyes on the wall beyond Spock’s shoulder. The last thing that he wanted to do was give the man any ideas. He was Captain Barrell’s and there was no way that was going to change.

Except that he couldn’t help but shiver when the Vulcan touched his cheek again. It was intoxicating. The soft brush of fingers that left no marks behind. The way that Spock let his fingertips play with the edge of Leonard’s hair. He was perfectly fine with this. It was sweet and kind and…

Leonard gave his head a shake, forcing the Vulcan to move his hand back. He couldn’t believe he was so stupid. The last time he had made the mistake of thinking there was anything kind in this world, he had ended up in solitary for a week as punishment. No, there was nothing kind about the touch. It was possessive and harsh and it wasn’t his captain, his master.

“Very well trained.” He could tell that Spock was speaking to himself, but Leonard couldn’t help but shiver at the words. Trained was one way to put it. Trained could include  harsh words and occasional whips.

What ‘trained’ didn’t include was the constant barrage of fake worry. The way that Barrell acted as if he had claimed ownership over Leonard out of some sort of worry for the Doctor’s health and safety.

It also didn’t include the lack of personal space or constant rape. Leonard wasn’t ‘trained;’ he was broken and battered, and he belonged to Barrell.

That’s why it annoyed him when Spock cupped his cheek and turned his head so that he was looking up at him. He was a good pet. He may have been snarky and weak, but he was good. He gave his captain what he wanted and didn’t complain when they were alone.  He knew his place and this man was disrupting that. He was toying with Leonard as if he had some sort of ownership over him.

“Let me go.” The words were harsh. Leonard didn’t want his captain coming out of Kirk’s room to see this. He was Barrell’s and no one else's.

“Doctor McCoy, this act won’t work on me.” Leonard winced, glaring down at the fingers that were still pressed against his cheek. He had forgotten Vulcans are touch telepaths. The bastard was probably sensing every emotion Leonard was experiencing at the moment: the anger, annoyance, fear. But those weren’t what he was focused on. The way that his eyes narrowed when Leonard looked down in shame was a dead giveaway. He was focused on the arousal that Leonard was feeling. The way his skin tingled under Spock’s touch. The slight burning in the pit of his stomach at the thought of Spock claiming him as his own. The Vulcan knew everything he was experiencing and it made it that much harder for Leonard to act like he wanted to be Captain Barrell’s.

“I can save you,” Spock offered.

“No, you can’t.” Leonard hissed through clenched teeth, wincing when Spock leaned in a bit closer “I...I…” His heart raced in his chest and all words left his mind. Leonard wasn’t sure what to do.

“It’s all right. I’ll let you realize i’m telling the truth in your own time,” the Vulcan promised, leaning in just a little closer and brushing his lips against Leonard’s: a taste of what Leonard could have. He almost chased the other man’s lips, but decided against it when he remembered Captain Barrell's rule.

The captain could fool around. He could have anyone he wanted and Leonard had no say in that, but Leonard was his. He belonged to the captain and no one else, and only by recognizing that fact, was Leonard safe. He knew the minute he made the mistake of forgetting he would be vulnerable, exposed to anyone who decided that they wanted a quick promotion.

Spock stood up once more and clasped his hands behind his back. Now he was in the Doctor’s head. All he had to do was wait.

* * *

It was another two hours before the door to Captain Kirk’s quarters slid open once more, and Captain Barrell stepped into the hallway with a smile on his face. “Up.” 

Leonard pushed himself to his feet and kept his eyes down. He couldn’t imagine looking at his captain after what had happened, especially when he could still taste Spock’s kiss on his lips. 

“Mr. Spock can show you to your quarters.” Glancing at the door, Leonard narrowed his eyes when he saw Captain Kirk standing there in nothing but his uniform pants. The last thing he needed was for the smug bastard to rub it into his face. “Unless of course you’d prefer to sleep on your own ship. I’m sure we can transport you over.”

“I came here to see your ship.  That includes the subpar visitors’ quarters,” Barrell smirked over at the other captain. “It’ll only be a few days.”

Nodding his head, Kirk glanced over at his first officer and smiled to himself when he saw the triumphant look on the other man’s face. It looked like his work here was done. Now it was all up to McCoy to make a choice. 


	3. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Barrel doesn't appreciate it when Spock takes an interest in his pet, and he make's it known to Doctor McCoy in his own special way.
> 
> Warning: Emotional and Physical Abuse. Torture. Rape

Stepping into the visitors’ quarters , Leonard glanced around the room and took in every detail while Captain Barrell said his goodbyes to the first officer. Listening to the conversation, Leonard took a deep breath and focused his attention on Spock’s voice. The soft, calm way that the Vulcan spoke. The way that he said his goodbyes to Leonard’s captain and wished him an enjoyable night, as if he hadn’t just made it his personal mission to steal Leonard from him. 

The bastard was slick, Leonard had to give it to him. 

It was only when the door slide closed that Leonard realized he was finally alone with his captain, and for the first time in two hours he let his shoulders relax. 

He only realized his mistake when he saw Barrell picking up a glass and pouring some Scotch into it from the complimentary bottle. Barrell wasn’t a drinker unless something had upset him.

“So…” his captain turned to him and let his eyes scan the Doctor carefully. “If I were to kiss you right now, would you taste like him?”

“C...Captain?” Leonard wasn’t sure what to say. He knew his captain was smart, but he had made sure not to let on about what happened while he had been busy with Kirk.

“Don’t play games with me Leonard.” He winced at the sound of his first name. His captain only used that name when he was furious with him, and Leonard had been good for at least 2 months. He was getting used to not having to hear his first name from his captain’s mouth. “Anyone with eyes can see that something happened between you two while I was gone, so I’ll ask again. If I kissed you right now, would you taste like him?”

Lowering his eyes, Leonard drew in a sharp breath “I...yes…” he whispered, not wanting to lie to the other man and make things worse. “I didn’t want him to…”

Leonard ducked to the side and covered his face with his hands when Barrell tossed his glass at the wall. Now he knew he had fucked up. 

“I don’t like it when you lie to me, Leonard.” Keeping his hand over his face, Leonard screwed his eyes shut and held his breath. He didn’t know what was going to come next, but he wanted to be prepared.

When a hand appeared around his wrist, Leonard didn’t struggle and instead simply let his captain pull his hand down and slam it against the wall behind him. Leonard knew when he could get away with being a smartass and when it was best to keep his trap shut. Right now it was a very good idea not to speak at all.

“I told you one rule,” the captain whispered, placing himself inside Leonard’s personal space and bringing his free hand up to the doctor’s face. Brushing some hair out of the man’s face, Barrell smirked when he saw his Doctor’s lip quivering in fear. “You’re usually so good. A little mouthy, but good. You know your place, don’t you?”

Taking his cue, Leonard nodded his head quickly. “Yes,” he whispered, not wanting to upset his Captain any more. “I...I belong to you. No one else touches me.”

“I knew you were smart.” Fingers traced their way down Leonard’s face, stopping at his chin and taking a moment to caress the skin there. “We’ll see if we can fix this little...issue.”

The hand that had been holding his wrist against the wall released its clutch and moved up to his shoulder. With a harsh grip, his captain forced him to turn around in his spot and shoved him against the wall so that his forehead was pressed up against the cold metal. 

It took little effort for the captain to undo his pants, letting them drop to the floor without a thought and sending his boxers following. “Take them off.” Drawing in a sharp breath, Leonard did as he was told and kicked off his boots carefully. Throwing them off to the side, he hissed when he stepped on broken glass. 

Once he had managed to get his pants and boxers off, Leonard closed his eyes and waited. He had an idea of what his captain planned to do, but he wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to handle today. Usually there was at least some gentleness, a little bit of care in the way his captain fucked him.

This time he could practically feel the anger radiating off of the other man. Today wasn’t going to be gentle, and with glass in his foot it wasn’t going to be enjoyable at all. So today, Leonard closed his eyes and tried his best to ignore what was going on. 

He didn’t shiver in anticipation when his captain reached down and carefully extracted the plug from his ass, a permanent feature ever since he had claimed Leonard as his own. 

He didn’t moan when he heard the familiar pop of Barrell opening the lube that he always kept in his pants pocket. The man liked to be prepared to enjoy his property whenever the hell he pleased.

The only thing that he couldn’t avoid was moaning when the other man kicked his feet apart and started to push in. If it wasn’t for the fact that Leonard could feel more glass puncturing the skin on his foot, he was certain that he would be writhing and begging for more. His captain did so love it when he begged. 

But today there was no begging. No soft gasps as his captain pressed all the way in and planted a hand beside his head for support. No, today Leonard closed his eyes and tried to forget. 

* * *

 

Leonard wasn’t sure exactly when they made it from the wall to the bed. He vaguely recalled walking on the glass shards in his foot, and the sharp pain that radiated through his body at each step.

He could recall the moment when his captain went for round two, and this time Leonard had the opportunity to wrap his legs around the other man’s waist and arch himself off of the bed to give the captain better access to drive in as deep as possible. This time he was able to find some enjoyment in the activity. He wasn’t standing on his foot pushing glass even deeper into the tender skin or dealing with the thought of the consequences he would be facing after. He let himself get lost in the feeling of being fucked, of his captain claiming ownership over him. 

When his captain got out of bed, Leonard started to worry. The captain never left bed after sex. It was one of the last things he ever wanted to do after a good lay. 

Sitting up in his spot, Leonard propped himself up on his hands and watched the other man carefully. Thankfully the captain still had his shoes on. It made walking around the room a lot safer with all the glass on the floor. 

“I’m glad to see you still know your place.” Leonard raised an eyebrow. Had his captain actually believed that he had forgotten where he belonged? That he would ever forget that he was safe there?

Rather than asking such a stupid question and risking more punishment, Leonard moved to the edge of the bed and sat up straight while he continued to watch the captain. “I could never forget, sir,” he said softly, wincing when he saw the other man lean down and pick up a large chunk of broken glass from the floor. If the captain cut himself, Leonard would have to fix him up, and he didn’t know what kind of equipment Kirk had available on his ship. Would it be good enough to get rid of the damage?

“It’s hard to tell, Leonard.”  He winced at the sound of his first name. “I hear Vulcans can be very persuasive.”

“I don’t want him,” whispered Leonard. His hands shook as he watched the Captain make his way back over to him slowly. “I...I don’t belong with him. I belong to you.”

Reaching out, Barrell laid his hand out over Leonard’s chest and smirked. “You seem to be aware of this fact,” he agreed. “Mr. Spock, however...well, I’ve heard stories about him. He’s not going to give up so easily.” A hard shove sent Leonard falling back against the bed. He knew better than to protest, and instead watched as his captain crawled onto the bed and sat down on his chest so that Leonard’s arms were pinned under his legs. Whatever he had planned, Leonard was going to have a hard time escaping. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, hoping that the captain gave him an answer. “I want him to know I’m not his.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Leonard’s skin crawled when his captain smirked down at him. “I know exactly how to get the message across to him.” He was about to ask what the man meant when the Captain brought his free hand onto his neck and pinned him down. 

He had only just registered the glass still clutched in his Captain’s hand when it started to pierce the skin just under his left eye.

Leonard didn’t scream at first. He had dealt with a lot of things, both growing up and during his time with Captain Barrell. He had learned how to hide his pain. But when the glass broke just under his eye, he couldn’t help but scream. Shards scattered everywhere. He could feel the glass piercing his skin on his nose, his cheek, and worst of all, flying into his eye. It felt like he was being stabbed with a million needles at once, and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it.

“Well, this just won’t do.” The Captain sounded annoyed at the sudden inconvenience. Apparently he hadn’t quite finished when the glass broke. 

Wiggling under the other man, Leonard tried to break free, to get just one hand out so that he could cover the damage and maybe try and stop the bleeding. Unfortunately he was right about the captain not being done. With his one good eye he could see the other man tossing the broken glass off to the side and reaching into the knife holder he kept around his right ankle.

The worst part of it all was that when Leonard saw blood on his captain’s hand, he forgot all about his injury. “Sir…” He tried to sit up, grunting when the captain tightened his grip on his neck. “Sir, your hand.”

“That’s sweet, Leo.” Finally Leonard could feel himself calming down a bit. If his captain was using his nickname it meant that everything was going to be okay. It was going to be better. “But I’ll let you take care of that when we’re done here.”

He had no warning before the knife began to dig into his skin, carving out the glass shard that had been stuck there before continuing to cut its way up towards his eye. Leonard wasn’t sure if he was screaming anymore. Everything had been drowned out by the pain. All he knew was that he had managed to grab the captain’s leg with his right hand and squeeze. He wasn’t trying to hurt the other man, that would only lead to something worse happening to him. All he needed was the contact. The physical reminder that his captain was there and it was going to be okay.

It had to be okay.

Something dropped against the floor and emitted a low clinking sound that pulled Leonard’s focus back out of his thoughts. He wasn’t sure how long it had been,  he had been lost in the screaming agony that radiated through his face with each cut and curve the captain made with his knife. Now, all he could feel the blood running down his face and the sharp pain that radiated from is wound.

It was torture, but he didn’t even bother trying to cover it up with his hands when his captain finally moved off of his chest and got to his feet.

“Get yourself to medical.” His order was simple but confusing to Leonard. Usually he would just have Leonard take care of the damage himself. “Oh Leo...it’s cute when you get confused.” Feeling a hand in his hair, Leonard opened his right eye slowly and looked up at his captain. “I want Spock to see, Leo. I want him to know what his attention did to you. He needs to know what happens when he tries to take other people’s property.”

“Captain…” drawing in a shallow breath, Leonard closed his eye again and laid his head back against the bed. He’d get up and do as he would told. There wasn’t a single part of him that would ever dream of disobeying his captain, but he needed a second. Just a moment for the pain to dull down to a more tolerable level.

The bed dipped beside him, and the captain’s hand moved down to his cheek and through the blood on his face. “Just remember Leo, this is his fault. I’d never hurt you if others would just realize that you belong to me.”

“I know…” he whispered, keeping his eyes closed as the captain leaned down and pressed a kiss against his lips.


	4. Medical Alert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard makes his way to medical to get himself fixed up, and runs into some unwanted company on the way.

Stumbling out of the room, Leonard held a hand over his eye and tried his best to stay standing. He didn’t know how far he was going to make it with all the blood loss, but he turned and started to stagger his way toward the turbolift.

He had only managed to get his pants on, forgoing the boxers in favour of getting himself to Medical as quickly as possible. His trousers weren't even done up, but instead hung open on his waist and barely clung to his skin. He was almost tempted to use his own blood to soak them so that they wouldn’t slip off and cause him to fall, but he figured his energies were best saved for getting to his destination in one piece.

“Oh my god!” He ignored the sudden cry when the turbolift opened in front of him and the nurse inside saw the state that he was in. It took her a moment to examine his uniform before stepping forward and taking hold of his arm. “Doctor, let me help you.”

“I don’t need help,” he growled, trying to shove her away only to find himself pinned against the wall. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the blood loss or if this woman was really just that much stronger than him, but Leonard was actually impressed.

“I am the head nurse of this ship and I said I will help you,” she said sternly. “Now either let me help you, or I’ll call Mr. Spock to come carry your ass…”

“No,” he whispered, shivering at the Vulcan’s name. “No I...I’ll go. Just, I don’t want anyone else working on me.”

“I can’t promise that…” she started, wincing when he grabbed her arm. “All right, I’ll get the equipment and I’ll help you as much as I can.”

Nodding his head, Leonard released his grip on her arm and leaned back against the wall while the nurse grabbed the nearest control rod and gave instructions for the turbolift to go to Medical.

* * *

By the time they had made it to Medical, Leonard was practically hanging off of the nurse’s shoulder. He had no strength left in him, and he was pretty sure if it wasn’t for her constant badgering he would have already passed out from blood loss.

“Nurse Chapel, I see you picked up a straggler.” Cracking his good eye open, Leonard clenched his jaw when he saw Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock standing in the middle of Medical. “What happened here?”

“None of your damned business.” Leonard bit back, forcing himself to stand up so the nurse could go get the equipment that he needed to fix his eye. Unfortunately, it was only a few seconds before his knees buckled under him and he found himself falling into Spock’s arms when the Vulcan stepped forward to catch him.

“Considering the amount of damage to your face, Doctor, I believe your statement to be illogical. It is very much our business if there is someone bleeding on our ship,” Spock explained.

“He’s right,” Kirk supplied, smirking when Leonard glared over at him. “I don’t tend to like it when people bleed unless I’m the one who made them.”

“Charming.” Leonard huffed, fighting to gain his balance and shoving Spock away from himself. “Don’t...don’t touch me. This is your damn fault.”

“I fail to understand how this is my fault.” Spock said softly, watching as the doctor struggled to stay on his feet while Nurse Chapel came running back to his side with the equipment he needed. “I did not do this to you.”

“No, he did….” Leonard growled angrily. “He did it because of you. Because you don’t know how to keep your damned hands to yourself!” Falling backwards, Leonard hissed when the nurse caught him and helped him back to his feet. “I need … a mirror…”

“Doctor, we do have a medical officer…” Kirk stopped talking when Leonard glared at him.

“You think I’m stupid? No antibiotics is one thing, but another doctor will take this chance to torture me even more. I know how this damned organization works, Kirk. I’ll take care of myself.” Taking hold of the nurse’s shoulder, Leonard grunted as she led him towards the nearest washroom.

Once they both were gone, Kirk glanced over at Spock and smirked. “You make...interesting choices, Mr. Spock.”

“But they are worth it.” Spock said softly, watching McCoy closely as he was led to the washroom. 

“Already thinking of a way to get back at Captain Barrell for this?” Seeing the Vulcan raise an eyebrow at him, Kirk chuckled. “We both know who did this to the doctor. The question is, do you still want him now that he’s damaged goods?”

“There is no such thing as ‘damaged goods,’ Captain,” explained Spock. “Battered, cut, and bruised, yes, but goods can always be fixed and made better.”

“That’s one way to look at it,” Kirk smirked.

  
  



	5. Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard is reassigned to the I.S.S. Enterprise, and he doesn't take it well.

Sitting in front of the mirror a few hours later, Leonard tried to stop his hands from shaking as he examined his work. The wound was closed and he wasn’t losing any more blood, so that was one good thing. Unfortunately, the ugly scar that took up the entire left side of his face was a harsh reminder that Leonard was never going to be the same. The face his captain had loved so much was ruined. His left eye was completely blind, the damage too much for even him to fix. He had worked on himself for hours, fighting the nausea and drowsiness of blood loss. He’d fought against shaky hands to keep the equipment steady and doing its job. All of it had gone for nothing. He should have just let himself bleed out. 

Getting the glass out of his foot had been a secondary thought, only remembered when he made the mistake of trying to stand up after he had fixed up his eye.

“Doctor McCoy.” Dropping the medical equipment on the sink counter, Leonard reached for the nearest towel to cover his face with and hissed when he managed to crack his knuckles against the wall instead. So much for depth perception.

Behind him he could hear Spock stepping into the washroom, and he could feel the other man’s eyes burrowing into his back. “Captain Barrell is preparing to leave the ship.”

“What?” Leonard turned around in his spot, wincing when the towel dropped to his lap and Spock got a good glimpse at the scar. “I...we’re not supposed to leave for a few days…”

“It seems the captain had changed his mind,” Spock said calmly. “He’s waiting for you in the transporter room.”

Pushing himself to his feet, Leonard took a deep breath and smoothed down his hair in a poor attempt to cover the scar. He couldn’t hope to manage it with the short brown strands, but he found himself trying anyway.

He was going home. He was going to be back with his captain and safe again. It didn’t matter that he had a scar. He just needed to remind himself of that.

“Are you quite all right, Doctor?” Leonard clenched his teeth at the sound of Spock’s voice. Did the other man not get the message the last time they saw each other?

“I’ll be fine once I’m away from you,” he growled, pushing his way past the Vulcan and heading down the hall. He didn’t even both to stop when his shoulder collided with the door frame on the way out, and honestly that was the easiest part of his journey; his depth perception was completely screwed. The rest of it included tripping over himself, running into various walls when he tried to turn a corner, and once even knocking a crewmember onto her ass when he failed to move out of the way.  

It didn’t take long to get to the transporter, although it did annoy Leonard that he could hear Spock following closely behind him. He needed to get out of there quick and stay as far away from the alien bastard as he could.

“Leo!” His ears perked up when he heard his captain calling out to him. Leonard smiled when he saw Captain Barrell standing in the middle of the transporter room. Beside him he could see Captain Kirk and another man in medical blue, but Leonard didn’t care about them. All he needed was his captain. “I was beginning to think you weren't coming.”

“I just had to clean up, sir.” Smiling, Leonard watched as his captain held out an arm toward him.  He quickly moved to the man’s side, hissing when he managed to almost run into him instead of stopping in front of him. He only flinched a little when the captain reached up to trace a finger over the livid new scar.

“Mmmmm, you had such a pretty face, Leo,” Barrell commented, laying his hand on the back of Leonard’s head and pulling him close so that he could place a kiss against his forehead. A part of Leonard knew that the gesture was mostly for Mr. Spock, and he was fully aware that his captain was glaring at the Vulcan, but he didn’t care. He was back with his captain and everything was going to be okay.

However, when Leonard felt a hand coming up to his collar, he immediately knew something was wrong. “Captain?” He glanced up, unable to tear his eyes away as Barrell undid his collar and slipped it off his neck carefully.

“Captain Barrell has decided to make a switch,” Kirk explained. Glancing back at Captain Kirk, Leonard clenched his jaw in a poor attempt to hide his hurt. “He’ll be taking my Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Puri, and you’ll be staying here.”

“N...no,” Leonard protested, turning back to face his captain. “Sir, you...you can’t. I...I belong with you. I’m yours.”

“I know you’re mine, Leonard.” Barrell gave him his sweetest smile, but Leonard could see the conniving bastard was about to leave him behind. “But as I said, you  _ had _ such a pretty face.” 

Captain Barrell leaned in and kissed his forehead once more before turning his back and heading toward the transporter. 

Standing there for a moment, Leonard let everything sink in. He had only just come onto the Enterprise that morning and in one day he had lost an eye, gained a new scar, and was now watching his captain walk away from him. 

“No…” he whispered under his breath, looking up in time to see Doctor Puri turn his back and head toward the transporter pad with Captain Barrell. This wasn’t happening. He had given absolutely everything to his captain. Every feeling he had, every fiber of his being. Everything he was belonged to that man who was replacing him as if he were nothing.

Glancing around the room, Leonard narrowed his eyes when he saw a knife at Captain Kirk’s side. His captain didn’t want him because of a scar. A scar that Barrell had given him. He was being tossed to the side after everything he had given to the captain, because of a scar.

“No!” Turning around in his spot, Leonard managed to grab the knife from Captain Kirk’s side holster without too much hassle and swung back around in time to catch Doctor Puri in the side. He wasn’t sure how exactly he managed it, considering he could barely walk without running into a wall, but he had managed and that made him giddy with pride. He wanted the other man to feel what he had: to hear him scream in agony as the knife ripped through his skin and cracked through at least one rib. Maybe if Puri bled out on the floor, his Captain would realize his mistake. Maybe if he didn’t have someone else to take instead of Leonard, he’d keep his doctor by his side.

“Doctor McCoy!” Spock shouted, moving forward and pulling the doctor back as Captain Barrell came down from the transporter pad and went to his new Chief Medical officer’s side. Grabbing McCoy around the waist, Spock pulled him back from the other doctor and hauled him out of the transporter room as the two Captains took care of Puri.

“Let me go!” Leonard screamed, kicking back at the Vulcan and trying to shove his way out of his arms. ”Let me go, you bastard!”

“That is enough, Doctor.” Hitting the wall with a grunt, Leonard glared up at Spock as the Vulcan stepped into his space and grabbed hold of both of his wrists. He didn’t even bother to resist when Spock pinned his arms above his head and used one hand to hold them there. He knew he couldn’t fight off the Vulcan, no matter how much he wanted to. “I think you have done more than enough for one day.”

“I have?” McCoy screamed, moving into Spock’s space as much as the other man’s grip on his wrists would allow. “I’ve done enough? This is all your fault!”

“I fail to see…” Spock clenched his jaw when Leonard attempted to can him. 

“Of course you fail to see. You don’t give a shit about anything but yourself. You’re just like everyone else in this damned universe. You come first, and it doesn’t matter what happens to others so long as you get what you want.” Staring the other man in the eye, Leonard drew in a shaky breath. “I hurt one person. If he bleeds out, no one cares. They’ll replace him just like they do everyone else. Someone will get a promotion and no one will mourn him. But you…” He laughed bitterly, “You took everything from me. You made my captain hurt me, and ….and leave me. So don’t look at me and say I’ve done enough. No matter what I do, it will never compare to how you hurt me. How you took everything from me!”

Holding the doctor in place, Spock waited until he finished talking before he slowly brought his free hand up to McCoy’s face and wiped away the tears. “You’re wrong, Doctor,” he said calmly. “I do care about certain people. I care what happens to my captain. He’s the best in the fleet, and I have no desire to see anything bad happen to him. I care what happens to the men who guard me. They are my people and I will never wish to  see them hurt. And I do care what happens to you. I care that you were injured because of my advances. I care that you feel like I am the cause of all of your pain when all i have done is show interest in you. I care that you look at me with nothing but hatred.”

Taking a careful step back, Spock released the Doctor’s wrists and watched as he dropped his arms to his side. “There is one thing that your captain is wrong about ,Doctor.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Leonard huffed in annoyance. 

Bringing his hand down to Leonard’s chin, Spock watched as McCoy winced at the gesture but made no move to get away. “Your face is still very pretty.”

Glaring at the other man, Leonard leaned in close and spat in his face. Thankfully, Spock was close enough that Leonard didn’t need his depth perception to hit Spock in the chin. 

“That was...illogical,” stated Spock, a hint of annoyance in his voice as he reached up to clean the spittle off of his chin. 

Leonard snarled, ready to spit again, when someone stormed out of the transporter room.

“Spock, move.” That was the only warning either of them had. The first officer stepped out of the way effortlessly and allowed Captain Kirk access to the doctor. As soon as he had, Kirk took the opportunity to land a solid right hook against Leonard’s face, sending him spiralling to the side and collapsing to his knees.

“Captain, I don’t believe….” Spock clenched his jaw when Kirk glared at him. He knew better than to try and argue with the captain when he was this angry. It only led to worse consequences for whoever Spock was trying to defend at that moment (since Kirk had a particular fondness for torturing Spock by hurting people he cared for).

“Doctor Puri is lying dead on my transporter floor. Now usually, that’s not a problem for me.” The captain lowered himself down to Doctor McCoy’s level and grabbed a fist full of hair. “I didn’t really like the guy that much anyway. He was mouthy and thought he knew everything. But this…now I have another captain without any Chief Medical Officer who would love to take this opportunity to ruin with me the Admirals because I can’t keep my crewmen under control.”

“He has a doctor…” Leonard growled, hissing when Kirk tugged his hair and forced his head back. 

“Get it through your thick skull, McCoy. He doesn’t want you. He are done with you and regardless of what happened in there, he’s going to leave this ship without you.” Turning his eyes away from Kirk, Leonard attempted to focus on the wall beside him. Anything was better than the words that Kirk was saying to him. “No, you don’t get to look away from me.” Kirk reached over with his free hand and grabbed Leonard’s chin in a steel grip, forcing him to look up. “This is your ship now, McCoy, and the only reason i’m not going to kill you is because I need my first officer loyal to me. That’s not going to happen if he losses his new toy.”

“I’d prefer to be killed,” Leonard growled under his breath, grunting when Kirk punched him in the face again. This time he could feel his nose crack, and it took all his energy to keep from passing out on the spot. Hadn’t these assholes realized he’d lost enough blood for one night?

“Get him to Medical.” The order was quick and sharp. Before he could even protest it, Spock was starting to help him to his feet. “Get him the blood he needs to heal, and after…”

“The agony chamber?” Spock choked on the words.

“No,” Kirk said. Raising an eyebrow, Spock held Leonard up while the doctor cleaned some blood off his face. “No, the agony chamber is nice. It’s easy and someone like him...it won’t teach him a damned thing. I want him in my quarters as soon as he’s fixed up. No questions, Mr. Spock.”

Clenching his jaw, Spock lowered his head. “Yes, Captain,” he agreed, watching as Kirk fixed his shirt and turned his back on both of them.


	6. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard has his new batch of wounds tender to before his meeting with Captain Kirk.

Helping Leonard into Medical, Spock glanced around the room and made a mental note of everyone who was available to help the doctor. Immediately he checked Doctor Summers off the list. He was next in line for a promotion if anything were to happen to Leonard, so he was the least trustworthy person to have near him.

“The nurse…” Leonard spoke up for the first time since Jim had left them back in the hallway. Raising an eyebrow, Spock narrowed in on Nurse Chapel. She was the only person in Medical Doctor McCoy had previous contact with, and she was Head Nurse. She would experience no personal gain if anything happened to the new doctor.

“Everyone out,” Spock snapped the order. It took a moment for the crew to realize he was speaking to them, but then they vacated the room promptly. Nurse Chapel was the only one who stuck around, as if she sensed that she was needed.

Making her way over to the two men, Chapel crossed her arms over her chest and smiled in amusement. “I thought you were a Chief Medical Officer, not a patient?”

Reacting on instinct at this point, Leonard reached out to grab Chapel’s arm. He’d thought for a moment that he’d be able to intimidate someone, to gain some sort of control on this damned ship. 

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

Instead, he found himself with his arm twisted violently behind his back and Chapel’s free hand on the back of his head, pushing him downward into a painful position.

“Try that again, Doctor, please. It would be fun to snap your arm off.” Her voice was cold, but Leonard couldn’t help but laugh. “Something funny?”

“Not at all, Nurse.” He smirked, standing up when she released her hold. “You’re just the first person to threaten instead of just doing. I like it.”

“Why, because you got to keep your arm?” She tilted her head and smirked when Leonard stepped into her space. 

“Threatening is more fun,” he said calmly. “You can go into detail about what you’re going to do. Explain everything slowly and meticulously and let their imagination do the work for you. There’s nothing more terrifying than one’s own imagination.”

Nibbling on her lower lip, Chapel glanced back at Spock and smirked when she saw his eyes had gone wide. “Mr. Spock, you do fall so easily for the kind and scared act.” She smirked, reaching out to grab Doctor McCoy’s arm. Pulling him toward one of the biobeds, she kept him upright when he began to lose his balance.

“It appears so,” Spock mumbled to himself. Standing his ground, he watched as Nurse Chapel forced Doctor McCoy to sit down and examined the new damage. Maybe the Doctor would fit in after all. If he let Captain Kirk see the part of him that smirked at the thought of torturing people with their own thoughts and imaginations, he was likely to fare a lot better than the man who had cried over the loss of his captain.  


	7. Tender Loving Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard is taken to Captain Kirk's quarters for his meeting, and gets a pleasent surprise.

Being pulled down the hallway, Leonard glared at Spock’s arm and thought about all the different ways he could break it. Maybe he would be nice and manage nothing more than a greenstick fracture. Those weren't all that painful, and he was pretty sure even these people had the tech to fix it. 

If, however, the other man didn’t stop carting him around the ship like he was his damned property, Leonard was going to aim for an open fracture. Maybe break his arm and watch as green blood ran down from the open wound while Spock screamed.

The Doctor was only pulled out of his daydreams when Spock planted a hand on his chest and stopped him in front of a familiar door: a door Leonard remembered specifically because everything had gone to shit right where he was standing.

His urge to break the Vulcan’s arm only grew at this point. If he had been given just one more second alone with Spock, he might even have tried. Unfortunately, the door to Kirk’s quarters opened and the Captain leaned against the opening with a devilish smile and a sparkle in his eyes.

Leonard was fucked.

“You can go, Mr. Spock,” Kirk said dismissively. For a moment it looked like Spock was going to argue, but instead he took a step back and bowed his head before walking away, leaving Leonard standing in the hallway.

For the first time that day, Leonard wished Spock was beside him. At least then he’d have someone to hide behind when Kirk stepped out of his quarters and got into his face. It was hard not to show fear, but Leonard did what he could. He straightened his back, clasped his hands behind his waist, and looked straight ahead. 

Whatever Kirk had in mind for him wasn’t going to be stopped by being a good boy, but Leonard had learned a long time ago that things might go easier.

“I was going to torture you,” Kirk explained as he examined the Doctor. “Even thought about bringing out my special set of knives…”

“I feel valued,” huffed Leonard.

“Oh Doctor, you should.” Feeling the captain’s hand on his face, Leonard drew in a sharp breath and screwed his eyes shut. For a moment he could believe it was his captain, that Barrell had come back from him and was going to take him back to the ship and let him stay there. But that moment didn’t last long. “Captain Barrell sent me your file. It seems to me like he’s been wasting your talents. Though I’m sure he was making great use of other talents of yours.” Leonard shivered at the suggestion. “As I said, I was going to torture you tonight. Thought maybe that would teach you some respect, but I had some time to rethink my idea and you know...you’re a stubborn bastard.”

Leonard snorted. He had been called stubborn on multiple occasions, but never in quite the same way Kirk had just said it. Stubborn to most people meant that Leonard was a pain in the ass, someone who needed a quick beating and some training to learn his place. From Kirk, though, Leonard could almost hear a hint of amusement. To him, stubborn seemed to indicate Leonard was going to be fun.

“Come on, Doc.” He dropped his hand from Leonard’s face and clapped him on the shoulder. “I have a job for you.”

Raising an eyebrow, Leonard followed the captain into his quarters, grunting when his shoulder collided with the door frame. This whole one-eye thing was going to be a pain in the ass. When he finally managed to get himself into the room without causing any further damage and saw what the captain was talking about, he raised an eyebrow. In the middle of the room where the Captain’s table would usually be, there sat a biobed: a biobed with a crewmember strapped down, a blindfold covering his eyes.

Leonard could feel the excitement running through his veins. A crewmember being restrained like this meant the captain needed information. He needed someone good at torture, and instead of doing the job himself…

“I don’t know what you need.” Kirk interrupted McCoy’s thoughts and pulled his attention over to where the captain was now standing beside a table of tools. “I brought some medical equipment in case you need to heal him so he’ll live longer. There’s knives and a few other items.”

“What do you need?” Leonard licked his lips, excited to start his work.

“Well, it seem’s like the ensign here has been sending information to the Klingons about our operations. He’s been the cause of multiple ambushes on Terran Empire ships.” Walking over to the biobed, Kirk smirked down at the ensign in question “I need to know what information he has about their operations. Where he sends his information, who he talks to, and if possible where I can send a fleet to counter-attack. This kind of information could get me a lot of favour with a few admirals. They’re always excited to take a shot at the Klingons.”

Nodding his understanding, Leonard glanced over at the table of tools and thought about the best way to approach the situation. He had lost his favorite tool kit almost a year ago when Barrell took it away. He had only seen a few patients in the last two years because of the man, but he had been safe, and those few times he got a patient to himself had been exhilarating.

Closing his eyes, Leonard took a deep breath. This was what he needed. He had to forget about his captain and Kirk was offering him the best way to do it. “I need a tool kit.” He said calmly, glancing over at the Captain “these are all good options, but they’re...for other people.”

“I’ll get you what you need,” Kirk smirked. “what kind of things do you require in this toolkit?”

“Just tell whoever you send to look up medieval medical equipment.” The smirk on Kirk’s face only grew at the sound of that. “Until then…” Glancing back over at the table, Leonard debated his options for a moment and reached out to pick up one of the knives, Glad when he managed to grab the hilt instead of the blade. “This will do.”

* * *

 

There was a lot of screaming for the next hour. Thankfully, after about five minutes one of Kirk’s crewmen showed up with Leonard’s new toolkit and a selection of music that the Captain had requested for himself. The screams were drowned out after that by the sound of classical Earth music, the loudest shit Kirk could find to dance to while Leonard worked.

With his new toolkit in hand, Leonard got the information Kirk wanted. It took an hour; he struggled with his new lack of sight more than once and his hands were covered in blood, but he got it. As soon as he had, he looked over at Kirk for his next orders.

If it was his...if it had been Barrell, Leonard would have known to back off. He would have taken a step off to the side and let Captain Barrell take care of the rest. It was always his favorite part: watching as his captain took all of his hard work and finished it within a few seconds. It also ended in a lot of sex for Leonard, which he usually considered a bonus.

But this wasn’t Barrell. This was Kirk, and Leonard was traversing new land. He needed to know how things went so he could file away the information in his mind for next time. Dear God, he hoped there would be a next time.

“I wonder, Doctor…” Walking up beside Leonard, Kirk put a hand in the middle of his back and smiled at him. “What do you think is the most painful way to die?”

“There’s a few.” Leonard responded. A chill ran through his body as he thought about it, and he twirled his scalpel between his fingers. Thankfully that was a habit of his that was so ingrained in muscle memory that losing the sight in his left eye didn’t mess with it. Leonard would hate to cut himself with a bloody scalpel. “There’s slow, knowing that you’re bleeding out and having to watch as everything goes dark. That can be done with a careful slit of the wrists or a stab in the right place. There’s also drowning or freezing: slow and everything burns. You can feel your body dying not because you’re starting to get light-headed, but because every nerve feels like it’s on fire with pain.”

Kirk drew in a harsh breath at the sound of that and crowded into Leonard’s space so that the doctor could feel his erection pressing up against his leg. It seemed like torture was very much the Captain’s favorite thing.

“There’s also…” He smirked at the thought.

“Don’t stop now, Doctor.” Kirk pressed himself against Leonard’s leg a little harder to emphasize his words. “I’m quite interested in hearing what you have to say.”

“It depends on how much time you want it to take,” Leonard said softly. “one of my favorite ways of finishing off a person is to skin them. Take away the tender flesh and muscles until nothing's left except their bones.”

“Wouldn’t they die quickly?” Inquired Kirk, his breath brushing against the side of Leonard’s face. 

“Not if you’re careful.” Turning his head, Leonard groaned when Kirk pulled down his shirt so that he could brush his lips against his neck. He had already been aroused because of his work, but Kirk seemed determined to take as much advantage of the situation as possible. “You….you can line them up with a blood transfusion so that they don’t die from blood loss. There’s medical equipment to keep a person alive through surgeries that involve cutting into them. I could...I could make it last a while…” His breath hitched when Kirk slid a hand under his uniform shirt and ran his fingers up the tender skin of his back.

“That sounds...invigorating,” the captain admitted “But I think I have better things to do with your time, Bones.” Leonard shivered at the sound of the new nickname. A part of him hated it: a constant reminder of the sick pleasure he took in his work. But the other part of him was thankful Kirk had found something new to call him. He couldn’t imagine sleeping with someone who wasn’t his captain while they called him ‘Leo.’ 

Kirk used his free hand to take the scalpel out of Leonard’s hand and planted the tool in the ensign’s neck. Leonard’s first reaction was to put a hand up and protect Kirk’s face from getting blood on it from the arterial spray. His second reaction was to gasp when the Captain grabbed hold of the front of his pants and pulled McCoy right up against himself. 

“Ensign Chekov!” The door slid open in answer to Kirk’s call. “I’m going to need you to take away the body. The stench of blood can be a real...mood killer…”

Leonard couldn’t see a damned thing happening near the door since it was on his left side, but he was pretty sure he could hear the ensign rolling his eyes before moving to follow the Captain’s orders. 

And it was because of the ensign’s presence in the room, and the open door, that Leonard did nothing when Kirk planted a hand on his shoulder and shoved him against the nearest wall. It’s not like he was protesting the idea of sex. He was perfectly okay with the thought of a good lay, especially with someone new. The issue was that he had no intention of letting Kirk take control of the situation, but he wasn’t about to undermine his authority in front of the crew.

The captain was in charge, not the chief medical officer. So for now, Leonard stood there and moaned when Kirk leaned down to bite his neck. He kept his good eye open, though. McCoy watched the ensign (as much as his lack of vision would allow) while he unbuckled the restraints and lifted the body off of the biobed. He waited as the young man he had been torturing only a few minutes ago was carried out of the room. Kirk undid his pants.

It was only when the captain’s door snapped shut that Leonard jumped into action. He reached up and grabbed hold of the captain’s shoulder, using the grip to pull the man away from him so that he could move into his space and shove him back towards his bed. There wasn’t much in the way between them and the bed, so Leonard actually managed to make it there without injuring himself.

“Bones…” Kirk smirked at the advance. Apparently this was a game he was perfectly willing to play. “I thought you were supposed to be soft and squishy.”

“Oh, I am,” the doctor snarled. Leaning down just an inch, he crashed their lips together and wrapped his arms around the captain’s thighs. He lifted the other man up into his arms and growled when Kirk responded by wrapping his legs around his waist. “So soft and squishy that I’ll torture a man and get hard from it.”

“My kind of man.” Carrying the Captain over to his bed, Leonard used his left arm to support him and his right hand to shove his own pants off. The last thing he wanted was to struggle with his clothing when he could be making the captain scream. 

Stepping out of his pants, Leonard reached up with his right hand and grabbed a fistful of the captain’s hair. There was no intent to hurt in his movement, but to use his grip in order to pull the captain’s head back and bare his neck to Leonard. 

A soft moan vibrated through Kirk’s throat when Leonard leaned in and nibbled at the skin just under his chin. 

Taking his time, Leonard licked his way up Kirk’s chin and left a few bite marks along his jawline. Nothing that would stick around for too long; that would mean people saw Leonard’s work and got the idea he was in control of the captain. No, he just wanted the captain to feel his teeth and know that inside this room it was Leonard that was in charge. 

“Bones, you take too long with this and i’m going to have to sit on you,” Kirk growled in protest.

“Impatient,” Leonard chuckled. Finding the edge of Kirk’s bed with his toe, Leonard leaned forward and laid the other man down on the bed carefully while he got up onto the bed and sat on his knees. With the Captain safely down, Leonard reached between them and started to undo his pants. “How long has it been, Captain?” He raised an eyebrow and looked up at the other man, smirking when he saw that Kirk had propped himself up onto his elbows so that he could watch Leonard work.

“I had sex yesterday, thank you,” the captain responded with a roll of his eyes “I think you know that, Doctor. You were outside the door with my first officer.” Leonard clenched his jaw at the reminder and reached up to wrap one hand around the captain’s throat as a warning. The last thing he wanted was to remember anything about his former captain while he was busy fucking someone else. Where he expected Kirk to get upset and take back control of the situation, Leonard instead watched as the other man tilted his head back and smirked down at him as if he was daring him to squeeze. 

“How long has it been since you’ve been fucked?” Leonard corrected himself while he ran his thumb up the side of Kirk’s neck and pressed it against the pulse point just under his chin so that he could feel the way that the captain’s heart sped up. The movement was based on muscle memory, so even though Leonard couldn’t actually see the pulse point with his left eye, he knew where to find it. “Properly fucked by someone who’s not here just to entertain you.”

“Oh, you’re here to entertain me.” Kirk smirked up at him “But…” he seemed to debate his answer for a moment. “I haven’t been fucked since I was a first officer. Part of being a captain.”

“Mmmm, that’s no fun.” Removing his hand from the other man’s neck, Leonard returned to his goal of removing Kirk’s pants as quickly as possible. “Sometimes you need a nice reminder of what it’s like to be bent over and lose all control.” However, Leonard was happy with the response. If Kirk hadn’t been on the bottom since he was first officer, it meant that Leonard got something his former captain hadn’t. He got to fuck the captain of the I.S.S. Enterprise.

With that thought firmly in mind, Leonard shoved Kirk’s pants off and discarded them.

“Usually when someone bends you over, you need to trust them.” Ignoring the captain’s comment, Leonard slid a finger under the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down. He knew that Kirk expected him to pay attention to the dick that was now directly in front of his face, but Leonard had other plans. “I know I’ve killed a few people after sex. Just slit their throats…” 

Groaning, Leonard laid his head down on Kirk’s thigh and gave himself a moment to reach down and press a palm against his own cock. Bastard knew just how to get under his skin and it was annoying. If McCoy was an ordinary person he’d be fearful for his life, but a part of Leonard knew that he was safe for tonight. 

The sudden appearance of a hand in his hair brought his attention back to his current task. Apparently Kirk really wanted him to continue. Without wasting any more time on words, Leonard moved up just enough to bite the other man’s shoulder hard.

Blood trickled down Kirk’s shoulder, and Leonard quickly followed one trail with his tongue while the captain gasped underneath him. The taste of iron overpowered his mouth: a taste Leonard hadn’t had the joy of experiencing in far too long.

“Lube…” the word wasn’t an order, but a request. He wanted this to last as long as possible and that just wasn’t going to happen if he tried going in dry or using his spit. 

“Oh, now you ask.” Laughing bitterly, Kirk reached over top his head with his free hand and pulled open a built-in compartment in his headboard. From where he was Leonard could see a variety of toys, lubes and other fascinating objects that he would love to try out one day.

For today, however, his only concern was the lube.

He watched as Kirk wrapped his fingers around the most easily accessible bottle and pulled it down, not bothering to close to compartment in case they needed anything else. 

Once the lube had been passed down to him, Leonard popped it open and spread some over his fingers. As soon as he had determined that there was sufficient lube to do what he needed, Leonard discarded the bottle to the side of the bed and used his clean hand to grab Kirk’s shoulder and shove him onto his stomach.

“Don’t worry, Captain,” he smirked, holding the captain down with one hand and running his lubed fingers down his ass until he found the hole. Almost as soon as he started to push one finger in past the tight muscles, Kirk started to lift his hips off of the bed in order to give him better access. “I have no intention of killing you after. I really don’t want the Vulcan in charge.”

“What, then you’d have to…” Kirk hissed when Leonard shoved his finger in as deep as he could in a poor attempt to shut the man up. “Have to fuck him?”

Rather than responding to the captain’s jab, Leonard focused his attention on pumping his finger in and out slowly. From the moans that he could hear Kirk trying to muffle with the mattress, he figured he was doing a pretty good job.

He wasn’t sure how long this process went on for, but pretty soon Leonard was pulling three fingers out of Kirk and watching as the man lifted his ass into the air for him. “What, are you eager, sir?” 

Kirk growled in response and shifted himself so that he was now sitting on his hands and knees. 

Giving his head a shake, Leonard reached over and retrieved the discarded bottle of lube. “As much as I would love to hear you scream as I drove into you…” he spoke lazily, letting his southern drawl slip through for the first time since he had arrived on board, “I think I’d like it more if I got to fuck you long enough to hear you beg for me to let you cum.” Popping the bottle of lube open, Leonard smirked when Kirk buried his face into the mattress and groaned. It didn’t take him long at all to get some lube on his hand and start covering his cock, but Leonard decided to take an extra minute to slather it in while Kirk waited impatiently. 

“Fuck...McCoy…” The Captain glared back at him, and Leonard figured the man was already thinking of multiple different ways to torture him for being a little shit after this was all done, but those thoughts seemed to leave his mind the moment that he saw Leonard stroking himself. 

“So used to getting what you want at the snap of your fingers Captain?” teased Leonard. He let his hand linger at the tip of his cock and smirked when he saw Kirk watching carefully and waiting for him to do something. “Maybe I’ll just jack myself off and cum all over your back. Leave you begging and whimpering for something to fill you up.”

“I’ll kill you,” the captain warned. In any other circumstance, Leonard would definitely have taken that at face value, but the way that Kirk’s ass twitched when he ran a finger over the tip of his cock told him the captain was just really anticipating getting fucked at this moment and was more likely to tackle him to the ground and ride him.

“Don’t worry.” He reached forward and pressed his right hand down against Kirk’s hip. Lining himself up carefully, Leonard smirked as he started to push into Kirk carefully and the captain’s head dropped between his arms. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you so empty. Not when I can be the first one to fuck the big bad Captain Kirk.”

He was certain Kirk wanted to respond with a snappy comment or another threat, but Leonard took away his chance by pulling out only a little and driving himself in deeper. The muscles around his cock tightened at the sudden intrusion, relaxing only when Leonard gave them a moment to get used to him. It took him a while to drive in deeper, but with each thrust he got another heavy groan from Kirk. Sometimes he was even lucky to get a whisper for more, which he was more than happy to give.

When he finally managed to feel his balls pressing up against Kirk’s ass, Leonard let out a soft sigh. He was certain that it had taken him an hour of excruciating torture for Kirk to get to this point, but he couldn’t really complain. Seeing the captain panting and writhing underneath him was the most gorgeous thing that Leonard could imagine. A man who was known for being ruthless and violent, unable to do more than beg for Leonard to fuck him harder? It was invigorating, and if Leonard wasn’t sure that the man was going to give him to that damned Vulcan after, he’d almost think that Kirk would be willing to keep him.

But that was a thought Leonard didn’t want to entertain. Not because he didn’t think it would be good. Kirk would be more than willing to protect his property and he seemed thrilled at the idea of letting Leonard do his work. He might actually function as a CMO if he were under Kirk’s control.

The problem was that he already had a captain, and Leonard would rather end up in bed with the bastard who lost him an eye and was _ his _ Captain than with another man with the same title. So casual sex was going to have to do in this case, and Leonard wasn’t really complaining.

“If you don’t start fucking me, I’m going to shoot you.” Kirk’s threat pulled Leonard out of hs thoughts and back to the situation at hand. He was thankful for that, as it meant he didn’t have to think about Captain Barrell and being left behind, so he kept his mouth shut and started to give Kirk a few shallow thrusts. Nothing that would cause the other man to cum, but enough that he twisted his fingers into the bed sheets and spread his legs for Leonard. A very pretty sight indeed.

Picking up the pace, Leonard groaned when Kirk lifted his ass to meet one of his thrusts. “Bastard…” he growled under his breath. 

“But so good.” Kirk was about to chuckle when Leonard drove back in and nailed his prostate. “Fuck!” 

Leaning down, Leonard planted his hands beside Kirk’s head and drove in hard. “Such a quiet fuck, Captain.” He prodded, smirking when the other man responded with a moan. “Usually people beg and plead for certain things. Harder, faster…” he thrust again and watched as Kirk arched his head back and screamed. “That’s a bit better.”

“At least you can fuck.” Kirk chuckled. “Barrell is like a wet blanket. Just lies there and takes it as if he’s at a spa.”

Clenching his jaw, Leonard reached up with his right hand and grabbed a fistful of Kirk’s hair. “Don’t…” he warned, forcing the other man to turn his head so that they were looking at each other. He was sure Kirk would have said something stupid if he hadn’t given him another thrust and nailed his prostate again.

“Fuck, McCoy…” Kirk’s mouth fell open, giving Leonard the chance to lean in slide his tongue in. Almost immediately the Captain tried to take some control back and fought with Leonard’s tongue. If it wasn’t for the fact that Leonard was still nailing his prostate on every third or fourth thrust, he was pretty sure Kirk would have won this war. Instead, he managed to drive his tongue into Kirk’s mouth and grunted when the captain responded by bringing his left hand up to the back of his neck so that he could hold him there for a moment.

Needing air, Leonard broke the kiss a minute later, but not without catching Kirk’s lower lip between his teeth on the way out and tugging on it playfully. 

“Definitely better.” Kirk smirked up at him.

“I said don’t…” Leonard hissed. 

“But don’t you want to hear all about it?” Kirk smirked “all the ways I fucked him and…” he grunted when Leonard grabbed the back of his neck and shoved his face down against the mattress.

“What I want is for you to shut up unless you’re going to scream.” Leonard hissed, pulling himself out almost to the head of his cock and driving back in. This time Kirk did scream, and Leonard smirked in triumph.

He kept that up for a bit longer, enjoying the way that the other man writhed under him and only opened his mouth to scream when Leonard drove in hard enough. It was only when he felt the captain’s muscles starting to tense that Leonard reached around his waist and wrapped his left hand around his cock.

“You want to cum?” He breathed against the captain’s ear, smirking when the only response he got was a shaky nod and a whimper. This was definitely his game now. “I don’t know sir. I don’t think you’re quite ready…”

Another whimper followed. Apparently the captain didn’t have it in him to argue at the moment, so Leonard decided to take pity on him. He drove in deep and ran his hand down Kirk’s shaft, smirking when the captain gasped.

“Fuck...fuck, yes.” Moaning, Kirk tore at the sheets while Leonard continued to fuck him. “Fuck, McCoy…” 

That was the only warning that Leonard got before he felt the captain’s muscles tighten around him and the warm stream of cum running down his hand. It almost managed to make him cum too, but apparently Leonard’s dick wanted to take its sweet time. Which was a problem, because almost immediately after he had cum, Kirk collapsed on the bed and started to reach back to push Leonard away.

“Fuck off.” He grabbed the captain’s wrist and pinned it down against the bed. Underneath him he could hear Kirk laughing at his response, but he didn’t give a damn. “Be a good boy and shut up,” he hissed, pulling out of the other man carefully and wrapping his free hand around his cock. 

“I’m never a good boy, Bones,” Leonard clenched his jaw at the sound of that stupid nickname. “But I’ll tell you what. Maybe I’ll be helpful.”

“I doubt that…” he growled as he started to stroke himself.

“Aww Doctor, that hurts,” joked Kirk, turning his head to look up at Leonard with a devilish sparkle in his eye. “I can be helpful. Isn’t it helpful imagining your captain in my position?” Leonard gasped when the image hit him. “On his knees, begging for some good cock.”

“Fuck…” Lowering his head, Leonard tightened his grip on Kirk’s wrist and groaned when his cock twitched in his hand. 

“It was a pretty sight, McCoy. I think you would have loved it.” He couldn’t see the smirk on Kirk’s face, but Leonard knew it was there. This was the bastard’s way of getting back at him. “Did he ever do that for you? Bend over and let you fuck him?”

The thought hit him like a bull kicking him in the stomach, and Leonard groaned low in his throat as he came over Kirk’s back. 

Dropping his hand, Leonard let out a shaky breath and pushed himself off the bed to get his pants. “I’m sure you can get an ensign to come clean up the mess,” he smirked back at Kirk.

“Oh, I can definitely do that. Might be fun in fact. Have them lick up every drop you left on my back and strangle them after. Wouldn’t want anyone to know I let you fuck me, after all.”

Giving his head a shake, Leonard leaned down and picked his pants up off the floor while Kirk reached up to press the call button on the communicator pad over his bed. “Mr. Spock, you can come get the good doctor.”

“I’ll be there promptly, captain.” 

Rolling his eyes, Leonard did up his pants and turned to see Kirk looking up at him from the bed with a smirk.

“Try not to get in too much trouble with him, doctor.” Kirk warned playfully. “If he loses interest in you, I might have to have you killed, and that would be such a waste.”

“I’ll do my best.” Giving the captain a smile, Leonard made his way towards the door, grunting when he failed to see the small table on his left side and bashed his knee against it. “Damn it… son of a bitch… don’t!” he hissed, glaring back at Kirk when he heard the man starting to laugh. “Just…” throwing his hand back, Leonard opted to call it a day and leave before he injured himself again.

“Oh, and Doctor!” McCoy turned back to look at the captain. “There should be two ensigns outside my door. Do send one in, please.”

Smirking to himself, Leonard gave his head a shake and opened the door. Neither of the ensigns moved an inch when he stepped outside, giving him a chance to examine both of them, which was a lot harder now that he had to turn to face both of them in order to get a good look.

“You,” he nodded his head toward the white guy on his left, who didn’t seem at all bothered to be there. “The captain would like to see you.” For a second the two ensigns looked at each other past the doctor, almost as if asking why he would request the brunette man when there was a blond woman they both knew the captain would prefer, but neither of them questioned the order and the man made his way into the captain’s quarters without comment.

Leonard figured she would thank him later for his choice when her companion showed up dead the next morning. He couldn’t save both of them, so he had made a gut call to save her.

“Doctor McCoy.” Rolling his shoulders, Leonard took a deep breath and turned around to look at Spock. It only took the Vulcan a moment to realize what exactly had happened in the captain’s quarters, and Leonard could practically see the jealousy radiating from him.

This was interesting.

“Yeah, I know. Follow the Vulcan. Seems to be the story of my life now.” He waved his hand dismissively and winked over at the ensign who was still standing outside Captain Kirk’s room. He almost felt the need to jump in front of her when Spock’s shoulders stiffened at the sight of Leonard’s playfulness, something he hadn’t shown towards him at all.

Making his way over to Spock’s side, Leonard shrugged off the other man’s hand when he attempted to place it on his shoulder. “If he were alive, I’m sure Ensign Kevin would tell you why that was a bad idea,” he growled.

“Doctor, I am not your enemy,” Spock stated, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Leonard pointed at the large scar and his blind eye. “You’re not my friend, either,” he hissed. “Or should I go through a list of all the things I lost today because of you?”

Clenching his jaw, Spock took a deep breath and bowed his head. “Right this way.” He started to walk without another word, aware that McCoy was following him because of the footsteps that echoed from behind his back. 


	8. Home sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard finds out where he's going to be sleeping for the duration of his stay on the I.S.S. Enterprise, and he's not happy about it.

Being led into his new quarters, Leonard felt his shoulders freeze up when he saw all of the Vulcan memorabilia around the room. “No…”

“I don’t believe the choice is yours, Doctor.” 

McCoy spun around in his spot and glared at Spock. 

“You are new to the ship. If I leave you in quarters without protection…”

“I would rather be stabbed in my sleep than share quarters with you,” growled Leonard, his hands flexing in a poor attempt to keep himself from attacking the Vulcan. “I am not staying here… I am not….” he stopped talking when Spock stepped forward and wrapped a hand around his throat.

“As I said, the choice is not yours, Doctor.” The Vulcan spoke calmly, but tightened his hand just enough for Leonard to understand that this was not up for debate. “You have a couch to yourself until you are ready to accept that you are on this ship and that you will need a new...master.”

“I’m sure I could find anyone else,” Leonard growled.

“You can find people to sleep with, yes. Captain Kirk seemed quite...relaxed when he called me after your visit. Perhaps he would be up to seeing you again. However, you will not find someone willing to protect you. To put your safety first.” 

Turning his head away, Leonard closed his eyes. He had heard this speech before, and it hurt to hear it from someone new. Someone who wasn’t his captain. “I’m not quite sure how long it will take you to get over your Stockholm Syndrome…”

“Shut up!” Throwing a fist out, Leonard somehow managed to nail Spock directly in the nose, forcing the Vulcan to release his throat and take a few steps back. “Just...shut up! You don’t know a damned thing. You don’t get to talk to me like that. He...he’ll come back for me and…”

“No, Doctor, he won’t.” 

Lowering his eyes to the floor, Leonard drew in a shaky breath and tried to keep himself from crying. Spock was wrong; he had to be wrong. Leonard’s captain would come back for him and he’d go home and be safe again. He couldn’t believe any other scenario. He was willing to have fun while his captain was gone. To fuck whoever was up for it and enjoy the opportunity to see new patients. But it was all temporary. It had to be temporary. 

“Come…” a hand landed on Leonard's shoulder, and for once he wasn’t willing to fight. Instead, he let Spock turn him around and lead him over to the couch. It took even less effort for the Vulcan to convince him to sit down on the couch, and Leonard was nice enough to let Spock kneel down in front of him. “I promise you’ll get through this, Doctor. I will not force you to do anything you do not wish, and I will wait patiently for you to realize that I have no intention of hurting you as he has….” Spock blocked another punch when Leonard lashed out. “Maybe one day you’ll also realize that it was not me who took everything from you today. Until then, I will keep you safe. You’ll do your job and prove that you can stand on your own, and I’ll be here when you wish to move on.”

Spock released his hold on Leonard’s hand and turned his back to make his way over to his bed. Leonard needed time at this moment. Time to think about everything that Spock had said to him. The problem was, he didn’t want it. He wanted Captain Barrell to realise his mistake and come back for him. He wanted to go home.

It was going to take a long time for Leonard to heal and realize all the ways in which he had been broken and battered, and Spock was going to be there that day. He’d make sure he was the one that Leonard turned to when he realized, and then he’d have his prize.


	9. Adjustment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's five month's later and Leonard is finally starting to adjust to life on the I.S.S. Enterprise.

It had been five months since Leonard had been forced to join the crew of the I.S.S. Enterprise. Five long months of sleeping on a crappy couch, only sleeping for a few hours a night, and learning to keep a hypospray full of a special neurotoxin on hand at all times. Also five months of getting used to the lack of a functioning left eye and learning how not to run into random objects and people. 

The hypospray full of neurotoxin wasn’t even a joke. On his second day with the crew one of the other doctors had attempted to stab Leonard in the throat, hoping for a quick promotion. Thankfully McCoy was quick on his feet and had turned the tables on the bastard. He only started carrying around the hypospray after the third attempt on his life.

A part of him wished he could blame his newfound paranoia on Spock. It would be so much easier than admitting that maybe Leonard wasn’t as capable of taking care of himself as he thought. Unfortunately, the Vulcan did have two guards at Leonard’s side at all times. The few times a crew member had gotten through them to try and kill Leonard, they’d been dragged away by one of the guards after Leonard had taken care of the situation himself. 

But it wasn’t all bad.

Leonard had made a silent pact with Nurse Chapel during the first week. Neither of them needed the other dead since they were both the highest ranking officers in their field, so they watched each other's backs. Christine had saved him at least once from an assassination attempt, and Leonard had been able to test out his new neurotoxin on an ensign nurse who tried to kill Christine. 

He almost felt sorry for the little bastard when he screamed, but Leonard was growing attached to the nurse at this point. He wasn’t going to let a nobody take away the only person he actually liked.

She was also very good at warning Leonard when he was about to stumble into something. He was thankful for that, considering she had saved him from running into medical equipment and dangerous sample containers on more than one occasion.

Other than Christine, Leonard had also made a pact with Nyota Uhura, the communications officer. That one was completely by accident, but Leonard couldn’t really complain. He didn’t even have to kill anyone for her. Their pact was of a more sexual nature. Nyota had been visiting medical one day after her equipment exploded in her face, and Leonard had been tending to the wounds quite effectively. The only issue was the doctor behind him trying desperately to get himself into Nyota’s pants. He wouldn’t stop flirting, and the ridiculous amount of information that he was providing on his ‘skills’ in bed was far too much for Leonard to handle.

So rather than listening to any more of it, Leonard kissed Nyota. He was pretty sure she was going to slap him at first, but that quickly changed when she realized that her unwanted suitor was starting to back off. Apparently the threat of a Vulcan torturing him for touching Leonard’s girlfriend was more than enough to discourage him. Nyota had been pretty impressed, especially when Leonard sat down and took the time to eat her out in the middle of medical so that everyone got the point.

Nyota was more than welcome to pursue other options, of course, and Leonard had found her and Christine going at it more than once when he walked into his office. There was just a certain protection that came with knowing that anyone who hurt Leonard or those he liked would have to deal with Spock and his men.

So Spock wasn’t completely useless. 

It didn’t mean Leonard liked him any more than he had before. He still blamed the bastard for the loss of his left eye and the occasional collision that happened because of it. Really, he was still adjusting to the whole ‘half blind’ thing. He hated it.

And he absolutely blamed Spock for the fact that Captain Barrell hadn’t come back for Leonard yet. Call him hopeful, but he still looked over at the Medical bay doors every time they opened with a sense of excitement at the idea of his captain coming back for him.

His hatred for Spock was probably why he took perverse pleasure in making sure the other man found him in awkward positions, or had to pick him up after Leonard got laid. He’d never stop enjoying the way that Spock’s shoulder would tense when he walked in on Leonard and Christine fucking on his desk in medical, or the way he clenched his jaw when he had to pick Leonard up from Jim’s room (He’d stopped calling him ‘Kirk’ the second time they fucked. It was weird to be balls deep in someone and calling them by their last name. Although, if he was talking directly to Jim he prefered to call him ‘Jimmy’. A nickname that seemed to annoy and amuse the man.).

His favorite was the way he could see Spock’s dick twitch in his pants whenever he caught Leonard and Nyota together. Leonard was aware that Spock had his own arrangements with Nyota; he had been in the room for more than a few of them and had even been invited to join (he’d share a bed with Spock when he died, thank you). It must have been bloody torture for the bastard to walk into a room to see Nyota riding Leonard’s cock, or laid out on the doctor’s desk while he ate her out. Leonard loved that look the most, because it was a reminder that Leonard wasn’t Spock’s to have, but he could have whoever the hell he pleased. 

It had been an interesting five months for Leonard, and now he was standing over a ‘patient’ with a bloody scalpel in his hand and a grinning captain by his side as the Andorian told him everything he wanted to know.

“Good job, Bones.” Kirk clapped him on the shoulder. It was a sign that Leonard had done a good job, but he also wasn’t getting laid because the captain had other plans at the moment. It was torture, really, considering Leonard was more than ready for a good fuck after all his hard work. “Get yourself cleaned up. I’ll make sure Mr. Spock is waiting outside when you’re done.”

Rolling his eyes, Leonard put the scalpel down on his work table and went to do as the captain said. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, but he had learned not to question when Jim gave him an order. He could still feel the whip marks on his back from the last time he had been that stupid.

It didn’t take him long to scrub the blood off of his hands and change out of his surgical scrubs back into his standard uniform. When he finally made his way out of medical, Leonard could see Spock leaned against the wall with a pad in one hand, but his eyes narrowed in on Leonard almost immediately. 

“Starting to think you get bored without me to hurl insults at you.”

“It does bring a bit of...enjoyment to the day,” admitted Spock as he stood up straight and waited for Leonard to walk up to him. “Though I fear you’re beginning to run out of colorful insults.”

Leonard smirked at the sound of that. He did like a challenge. “I’ll see if I can figure some new ones out just for you.” He laughed when Spock raised an eyebrow, something he hadn’t done since McCoy’s first day on the Enterprise.

He must be going crazy. That or he was getting comfortable around the bastard, and that was even worse. The last thing Leonard wanted to do was get attached. It meant giving up on his captain, and he just wasn’t willing to do that.

“Anyway…” he waved his hand dismissively “What fresh new torture have you figured out for me today? A bubble bath? Maybe a foot rub?”

“Most people tend to find such activities...pleasurable.” Spock pointed out, turning to face Leonard. 

“Maybe if you called Nyota over.” Leonard smirked when Spock’s entire body shivered “Getting kind of uncomfortable having sex on my office couch.”

“I believe Lt. Uhura is entertaining herself with your head nurse tonight.” 

Leonard clicked his tongue in disapproval. Apparently he wasn’t allowed to have any fun. “Though, I’m sure if you require, I can find someone...willing.”

Thinking about it for a second, Leonard smirked to himself and turned his eyes toward Spock. He was about to respond when he saw the flash of a knife in a passing lieutenant’s hand. He wasn’t sure if the guy was stupid enough to try and stab him in front of Spock and the two Vulcan guards still standing by the medical bay doors, but it would be an interesting sight to see.

Except, that was not how it was going down, apparently. Leonard knew this because the bastard looked him in the eye and winked. So if he wasn’t the target…

“Damn it…” he threw his right arm out and used it to shove Spock aside just as the lieutenant moved to stab him. The blade sliced his wrist in passing, but Leonard was more focused on grabbing his favorite hypospray with his left hand and jamming it into the lieutenant’s throat.

The lieutenant’s shrill scream forced Leonard to drop his hypo spray and cover his ears. It wasn’t loud enough to really bother him, but the sound made him sick. It made him nauseated knowing that he was taking another person’s life, and that was weird considering what Leonard did for a job and how much pleasure he took in it.

But this was different. This wasn’t Leonard torturing a captive who betrayed his own people or who was an enemy. This was Leonard taking the life of a kid no older than 25 because he was part of a cutthroat organization that told him the only way to rise up in rank was to kill his superiors. 

He choked back tears at the thought. 

Leonard wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there, or what exactly was going on around him, but he did register the exact moment that Spock stepped up into his personal space and pressed the palm of his hand against Leonard’s cheek.

“Let’s get you to the room.” The words were deceivingly soft. Leonard had seen what Spock was capable of, he knew that this was all some sort of sick game to him, just like it was to everyone else. But he went with Spock anyway. 

It was five long hallways and an awkward turbolift ride before Leonard found himself being led through the doors of Spock’s quarters. Neither of them tried to speak to each other, but Spock did make sure to lead Leonard over to his couch and sit him down.

“Leonard…” there it was again. That damned soft voice the bastard loved to use on him. “Leonard, look at me.”

Doing as he was told, Leonard turned his eyes towards Spock and just sat there for a moment and let everything sink in. His stomach turned when he recalled the way the lieutenant had screamed, and he didn’t even bother to try and cover his face when the tears started to fall.

“What….what did I do?” his eyes stayed trained on Spock, looking for answers, as if the Vulcan could solve all of his problems. “What did….oh God….” Screwing his eyes shut, Leonard leaned forward and buried his face against Spock’s shoulder. He didn’t have the energy to argue right now, or o push Spock away when Spock brought a hand up to the back of his neck to support McCoy. He didn’t have the energy to do anything but sit there and cry, and wasn’t that just a sight?

Spock was probably giddy with excitement.

“What you did was save my life,” reminded Spock, his fingers brushing against the edges of Leonard’s hair. “You took his life to save mine, and I am grateful for that.”

“He was a kid!” Leonard wanted to shove Spock away, to yell at him, punch him, and take all of his anger out on him-- like he always did. He wanted to do it all, but he couldn’t. “He was a kid...looking for a promotion in this shit… organization.” His hands shook with every word he said. “He was a… a kid….”

“A kid who made a choice to try and take another person’s life.” Spock whispered gently. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t how it went.

“Why are you coddling me?” Throwing his hands up, Leonard broke Spock’s hold on him and moved back so he could glare at the Vulcan. “Why are you...you should be yelling at me for being weak and...and soft…”

Rather than entertaining the doctor’s idea of how things should go, Spock reached out and brushed his fingers against Leonard’s cheek. “Is that what he did?” Leonard shivered against the memory “Did he yell? Call you names and tell you he needed to protect you so you wouldn’t get yourself killed?”

“Shut up…” Shoving himself to his feet, Leonard rubbed a hand over his mouth and started to pace the floor “Just...shut up. You don’t know…”

“I think I do, Doctor.” from the corner of his right eye, Leonard could see Spock taking a seat on the couch and relaxing. If he wasn’t so focused on what he had just done, he’d probably try and punch the man for seeming so smug. “I think I know exactly what happened. How he broke you.”

“He didn’t break me!” screamed Leonard. He knew he was lying to Spock, to himself really, but this wasn’t what Spock seemed to think. He knew his captain. He knew Barrell valued him and wanted him. It was more than what Spock wanted to believe. “He…” Stopping in his tracks, Leonard dropped his arms to his side and drew in a shaky breath. 

He couldn’t fight anymore.

He couldn’t keep lying to himself and saying there was a chance that his captain would come back for him.

He just couldn’t do it anymore.

“What did he say to you Leonard?” Spock asked calmly “how did he break you?”

“He told me weak people didn’t survive in the Terran Empire. That I cared too much about other people and it made me weak....” The words stung on their way out of his mouth, a poison Leonard had been keeping inside of himself for far too long. “Said if I didn’t let him protect me...I wouldn’t last a week…”

“He was wrong.” Leonard waited for Spock to continue. “Weakness is standing by and letting those you care about die in front of you. It’s looking death in the eye and choosing to accept it rather than fight.” 

When Leonard didn’t respond to his comment, Spock pushed himself to his feet and walked over to him. “Weak people don’t have their eye cut out and then proceed to heal themselves. They don’t get tossed to the side by someone who promised to care for them, and then make a life for themselves. Weak people give up. They quit when things become too hard for them.”

“I am…” Leonard whispered. “I am weak. I make friends and I protect them. I kill a kid and I cry. I…” he closed his eyes and took a moment to gather his thoughts “I keep hoping. Hoping he’ll come back…”

Stepping up into Leonard’s space, Spock cupped his cheek in his hand and watched as the doctor closed his eyes. “You make friends who protect you,” reminded Spock. “You torture those who betray our organization, those who wish to harm those you wish to protect. Crying over a kid who wanted a quick promotion does not make you weak. Hoping that someone cared deeply for you is not weak. You are surviving and struggling every day. You are one of the strongest men I have ever met.”

Leonard wasn’t sure whether to punch Spock or hug him. He wanted to believe the other man, to think that he was strong and could take care of himself, but he also wanted Spock to stop spoiling his memories of his captain. Barrell was good to him. He wasn’t perfect, and Leonard had multiple scars to prove it, but he was good to him. He kept Leonard safe, let him sleep in a comfortable bed, and made sure he was always by his side so that no one could ever hurt him.

“He…” Leonard’s lips quivered. It was as if the words were stuck in his throat, refusing to budge so that Leonard couldn’t say them.

“He left you.” 

Turning his eyes back up towards Spock, Leonard felt his entire body started to shake as the realization hit him. He had spent five months hoping, praying, that his captain would come back for him. That he’d get to go home and be safe again. But it wasn’t going to happen. 

Closing his eyes, Leonard took a deep breath and leaned forward so that he could press his forehead against Spock’s shoulder. He was done fighting, done pretending this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. He couldn’t even find the energy to hate Spock when the Vulcan buried his fingers in Leonard’s hair and held him there. 


	10. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard wakes up the next morning and finds himself doing some soul searching.

Leonard felt warm. Not physically warm, but in a way that made his skin tingle, stomach turn, and breath hitch just a little. It was something he hadn’t felt since he was little and lying in bed beside his mom while she read him stories.

Suddenly, that warmth was trying to move away from him. He could feel the soft hands, placed carefully on his back, extracting themselves, and the dip of the bed as the other person sat up. “Don’t go…” the words were barely audible, but apparently it was enough to get Spock to stop.

“I had thought you were still asleep.”

Cracking his good eye open, Leonard looked up at Spock and watched as the Vulcan turned back toward him. “If I woke you…”

“Relax. I was waking up already.” Leonard stretched himself out on the bed, groaning when his back popped. “Though...I don’t really recall going to bed with you.”

“You were unconscious when I moved you,” explained Spock, reaching out with one hand to brush some stray hair out of Leonard’s face and raising an eyebrow when the doctor didn’t flinch away from the touch. “I had attempted to relocate myself to the couch…”

“I don’t need the details, Spock.” Propping himself up on one elbow, Leonard reached up to run his hand through his hair. He smirked to himself when he saw Spock following the movement of his hand with his eyes. “So…”

Spock’s fingers lingered against his cheek, and Leonard’s skin tingled every time they brushed against him. “I’m required on the bridge.” Leonard rolled his eyes at the sound of that. “However, as soon as I am finished, I will come retrieve you from Medical. We’ll have lunch together here today.”

“Hiding me away from the world?”

Spock’s eye twitched at the comment, something Leonard had never seen happen before.

“I simply believe that it would be...nice,” explained Spock. “Unless you would prefer to return to your favorite pastime of throwing insults and accusations at me?”

Taking a deep breath, Leonard fell back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t even know what he wanted anymore. What he needed.

Well, that was a lie.

A part of him wanted Captain Barrell. Wanted to go back to his ship and be safe with his captain.

The other part wanted to crawl onto his knees right that moment and let Spock fuck him. Wanted to thank him in some way for getting him out of the hallway and out of public view when he broke down yesterday, and for having such kind words ready for him when he broke down in the room.

An even smaller part of him wanted to kiss Spock, but that was something he had been struggling with for months. As much as he hated the man and wished he would fuck off, Leonard still found him intoxicating:he way his fingers lingered against his face, making his skin tingle. The way he looked at Leonard as if he was actually valuable. Actually wanted.

“I’ll be there,” whispered Leonard, turning his head to the side so that he could look at Spock.

With a slight nod of his head, Spock brushed his fingers against Leonard’s face once more before pushing himself out of bed and heading towards the washroom for a shower.

Now that Leonard was alone he felt a familiar coldness settling over him. There was no more security or love. He was alone just like always.

“Idiot…” he grumbled under his breath. Throwing a hand over his eyes, he groaned. How could he be so stupid? There was no such thing as security and love in his life. That shit didn’t happen to people like Leonard.

No, what he was feeling was false. It was what Spock wanted him to feel so that he would fall to his knees and bow his head for him. So Leonard would wear his collar in front of the crew and let Spock do with him as he pleased.

It was the same thing Barrell had done to him, and Leonard was stupid enough to fall for it again, but this time it was worse. This time he should know better. He should be able to protect himself from false kindness and tender touches.

He really was weak.

* * *

Hearing the door to Spock’s washroom opening, Leonard sat up on the bed and watched as the Vulcan stepped back into the main room in a brand new uniform. For a second, Leonard let himself enjoy the view: the way that Spock’s shirt rode up just enough to show a sliver of skin when he leaned over to grab his golden sash off of the couch (his favorite place to put it) so that he could put it on. The way his calves stretched the thin material of his pants when he started to walk. The hint of a smile on his mouth when…

Oh...okay. Apparently that one was because he had noticed Leonard staring. It was the only reason Leonard could think of, given the fact that Spock was looking directly at him with that damned smile.

“”I’ll see you at lunch, Leonard.” That seemed to be a good enough goodbye for Spock, since he was now turning his back to Leonard and making his way towards the door.

Leonard, however, wanted something more. He needed something more.

Springing to his feet, Leonard took a few long strides across the room and grabbed Spock’s arm,  turning the other man around to face him. “Is there something I can do for you, Leonard?”

He swallowed hard. His heart told him to go for it: to risk the pain and torture and betrayal once more and just...dive in. His brain, the more rational part of him, told him to back off, to think this through and realize what a giant mistake it all was. Did he really want this to end up like it did with Captain Barrell?

Apparently he did, because his heart won the argument.

Leonard slid his fingers into Spock’s hair carefully and tugged him close so he could press their lips together in a hard kiss. Spock groaned into it instead of pushing him away and yelling, so Leonard figured he had at least won this battle. 

The war, however, was another story. He had no idea what the hell he was getting into, and Spock held all the plans. Leonard needed to play one hell of a game if he didn’t want to end up battered, bruised and left behind again.

Pulling away from the kiss slowly, Leonard pressed his forehead against Spock’s for a moment, just long enough so that the Vulcan could feel the trust that Leonard was giving him. Maybe he’d have a chance to survive if Spock knew exactly what he was getting in this deal.

“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you.” Spock whispered, bringing a hand up to brush his fingers against Leonard’s face. “You wouldn’t believe me. However, I will do what I can to keep you safe and ensure you are loved.”

Drawing in a shaky breath, Leonard closed his eyes and nodded his head. It was the best he could ask for, and even if Spock was lying to him, at least he had that to hide his mind away in when shit went south.

 


	11. Tell the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard walk's in on a conversation he probably shouldn't have heard.

Making his way down the hallway later that morning, Leonard held a padd with his latest medical report close to his chest and avoided colliding with anyone. He wasn’t sure why exactly Captain Kirk had asked him to deliver the mission report in person, it was easier to just send it to him in a message, but Leonard wasn’t going to test the man’s patience on something as small as this.

It just bothered him a little. During his time on the ship, Leonard had learned a lot about the crew he worked with, and the captain in particular. Jim was an action man. He enjoyed throwing punches, going on away missions, and having sex. The only time Leonard could ever recall Kirk standing still was when he was watching Leonard work on a ‘patient,’ but that was still action in a sense. There were blood and screaming and confessions.

What Jim was not was a paperwork man. He had lieutenants who did that for him. So to get a call asking for his latest report was...concerning, to say the least.

“I’m starting to run out of ensigns, Mr. Spock.” Leonard stopped in his tracks when he heard the captain’s voice around the corner. He didn’t know if this was a conversation that he should be interrupting, so instead he waited and listened. “Why do you even bother at this point? It’s been five months and there has been no improvement in his attitude toward you.”

“As of this morning, that statement is no longer correct, Captain.” 

Screwing his eyes shut, Leonard drew in a harsh breath and tried to keep himself from turning the corner and punching Jim. This wasn’t something he was supposed to hear. He could tell it wasn’t, or Spock would have told him.

He was about to turn on his heel and leave when Jim spoke up again. “This isn’t your usual game, Mr. Spock.”

Leonard’s heart hammered inside of his chest. A game? He expected that bullshit from Jim or Barrell. He knew he was a game to them. He was someone to string along, fuck and discard when they were done. It was a game he was far too familiar with.

But was he a game to Spock? Nothing more than a toy to play with until the Vulcan got bored? If so, why the hell was Spock still trying when he could play that game with anyone he wanted?

God, he was so stupid for thinking this was going to be any different.

“My usual game requires harshness.” Spock’s works cut through him. “A heavy hand to ensure that they know who is in charge. Harsh words when they talk back. Bruises when they step out of line.”

Oh… it was that game.

Closing his eyes, Leonard turned towards the wall and pressed his forehead against the cold steel. Maybe if he was lucky, someone would try to kill him right now. It would save him a lot of trouble if he just bled out on the floor where he was standing.

“You’re still doing all of that.” Jim sounded annoyed at this point, “only you’re doing it to my ensigns, which I’d have no problem with, except this time it’s not doing anything to get you the prize. So tell me, what’s so special about this guy? I get that he’s a good lay, but that’s not worth all this effort. Just break him and take him. It’s easy.”

Leonard winced. Had Spock really been taking his anger and annoyance out at ensigns instead of Leonard? No wonder so many people seemed to want him dead.

“Leonard is already broken, Captain.” the words cut deep into Leonard. Spock wasn’t wrong to say it. Leonard was beaten, battered and had been destroyed by Captain Barrell. The Vulcan only needed to lift a hand towards him or say a few harsh words and he would have fallen to his knees. It was the kindness he was fighting, a tenderness that was both weird and unnatural in his experience. “It’s of no fun to break someone who is already scared and obedient, and it’s not what Leonard requires.”

“Spock, why do you care what he ‘requires’?” Jim raised his voice in annoyance. “He’s a toy. A game to you. You’ll get bored of him in a few years and move on, so why don’t you just stop this fucking around and take what you want? Stop letting him walk all over you like a doormat.”

“I do not intend to...get bored with him.” Leonard clenched his fists, a poor attempt to stop his hands from shaking. “I am doing what i must to secure a long term investment. I want Leonard to be obedient to me, and to me alone. I cannot have that if he believes me to be exactly like Captain Barrell. That’s simply a transfer of loyalty that can always change.”

“So, what? You want him to actually fall in love with you? Are you five?” Leonard practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the captain’s feet starting to move. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, getting louder as Kirk got closer to him. 

“If love is what Leonard wants, then it’s my goal with him.” Jim stopped at the edge of the hallway, and Leonard winced when he saw the smirk that pulled at the captain’s lips. He was sure that the smirk was derision for him. There was no way the captain hadn’t noticed his presence; it was pretty obvious it had been Jim’s intention all along for Leonard to overhear. “And if I require a few more ensigns to take my frustrations out on…”

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” Holding out a hand towards Leonard, Jim waited patiently for him to hand over his pad. “Hmmm, paperwork. Not my favorite thing to deal with Doctor McCoy.”

“You…. asked for it…” Leonard hissed through clenched teeth, wincing when Spock rounded the corner and saw him. 

“Hmmm, so I did.” Jim tossed the pad back at him and turned to walk away “Spock, take care of it. I need to go to the transporter room to meet someone.”

For some reason, Leonard felt like that last comment should bother him, but he was too busy lowering his head when Spock stepped up to him. The two of them waited until Jim had walked away, standing there in silence while Leonard avoided Spock’s eye.

“Leonard…” He flinched when Spock reached out to touch his face. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pretend like this was how it was supposed to go.

“Just do it,” he growled under his breath. “Take what you want, Spock. What the hell am I going to do? The best I might get is a good jab to the side or a broken nose, but you’re three times stronger than me. You don’t need to…” his hands shook with each word he spoke. “I’m not a game. I’m sick and tired of being a game.”

“You misunderstand my intentions,” argued Spock. 

“No, I understand them very well,” Leonard hissed back at him, pressing a finger into Spock’s chest and forcing him to take a step back. “I know this game, Spock. I know how this works and you’re playing it wrong. I’m not going to get down on my knees for you because you were nice. I’m going to do it because you grabbed my shoulder and forced me to.”

“I am not Captain Barrell.” The words stung more than they should have, but Leonard knew Spock was right. He wasn’t Barrell. If he was, Leonard would be wearing a collar, feeling the fresh whip marks on his back, and have a plug in his ass. “I do not want blind, transferable loyalty from you, Leonard. I want you. I want those cold blue eyes to look at me and sparkle the way they do when you get excited. I want you to share a bed with me, not just sexual favours. I want you safe because I care that you come back to me unharmed, not just because I’ll have to find someone else if you’re killed.” 

Leonard tried to step back when Spock caressed his face, but he didn’t have the strength to anymore. He just couldn’t fight anymore. “I am a ruthless man, Leonard, just as you and Captain Kirk are. We all show it in our own ways, but we all have our weaknesses as well, and those weaknesses must be guarded.”

“You barely know me,” Leonard hissed back at him. “Why...you could find this in anyone, Spock. There are countless people on this ship. Why me?”

“That, I cannot explain,” admitted Spock. “I was drawn to you when you transported on board five months ago. Seeing you was...intoxicating. I needed to keep that feeling. That intoxicating drug called Leonard McCoy had to be mine, and I can not explain why or how. It is simply a fact.”

Leonard reached up to take hold of the hands on his face. He didn’t know how to respond, but he knew he wanted that touch to stay there. It centered him for some reason, but in a different way than Captain Barrell’s. Barrell’s touch told him he was safe, that no one would harm him without the captain’s permission, and no one could touch him. It was ownership over Leonard.

Spock’s touch was warm. It told him that he was safe from all sorts of harm, but it also said that he was actually wanted.

“What do you want?” Spock’s question pulled him back to the present. “What do you want me to do, Leonard? Do you want me to break you? Is that the only way for you to realize this is where you belong?”

Thinking about it, Leonard shook his head. “No…” he whispered tentatively. “No...I want this.” He squeezed Spock’s hands for emphasis. “I want security and safety and…”

Spock leaned down and pressed their lips together in a tender kiss, something Leonard had never experienced. Even his kiss that morning had been harder, more forceful. But this was kindness, and it terrified and exhilarated Leonard at the same time.

When Spock pulled away, Leonard found himself watching as the Vulcan licked his lips. “I want you…” Leonard whispered, reaching down to grab hold of the front of Spock’s pants and pulling him close. “I want you, hard and messy and a little rough. I need that.”

“And I will give it to you,” promised Spock, his finger trailing down Leonard’s cheek and digging in just enough to hurt: a silent promise Leonard would get exactly what he wanted. “However, right now I am required to attend my duties on the bridge, and you should go to medical.”

“I feel like you’re not telling me something,” Leonard frowned.

“It is not of concern.” Leonard stood there quietly and nodded. There was no way he would be able to convince Spock to tell him if he didn’t want to, so he was just going to have to suffer without knowing. “Go to medical. I will meet you there at lunch time as planned.”

“And then whisk me away into hiding,” huffed Leonard.

“I assure you, I will do more than just hide you.” Spock emphasized his words by pulling Leonard up against his body and cupping his ass, forcing a gasp out of Leonard’s throat. “Be good, Leonard. I would not want to have to hold you down while Captain Kirk whips you again.”

“I’m certain you took a certain amount of pleasure in watching me get punishment for having a smart mouth.”

“It would be a lie if I told you it was not...entertaining.” Giving his head a shake, Leonard pressed his forehead against Spock’s shoulder for a second and closed his eyes. He didn’t linger long. It would be bad form to make Spock miss any more work, after all, but he did enjoy the way that Spock brought one hand to settle on his back.

 


	12. Return of Captain Barrell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard think's he's going to have a pretty good day, but Jim shows up with a visitor just to prove him wrong. 
> 
> Warning: Emotional and Physical abuse.

Examining the read outs in front of him, Leonard smirked. “I have some bad news for you.” He turned to look at Nyota while she sat up in the biobed. “You’re in perfect health. I’m afraid you’re going to have to go back to work.”

“Damn it.” Nyota threw her head back dramatically and covered her eyes. “Whatever shall I do? All of this work, it’s just too much.”

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky.” Holding out an arm, Leonard chuckled when Nyota used the support to get off of the biobed. “Maybe someone will try flirting with you and you’ll get to stab them.”

“That would brighten my day after this horrible news you’ve given me.” Stepping up into Leonard’s space, Nyota pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him backwards. He staggered a few steps, grunting when he collided with the biobed. “But there are also other things I can do.”

Licking his lips, Leonard watched as Nyota stepped into his space once more, groaning when the doors to Medical opened and Jim clapped his hands together. “Usually I’d enjoy a good show, but I’m going to have to ask you two to break it up for now.”

“Worst...person...ever.” Nyota huffed, glaring over at the captain and backing away quickly. Leonard was a little confused at the sudden movement. It wasn’t like Nyota to back down so quickly when sex was on the table.

“Aww Kirk, you should have let them finish.” Leonard’s entire body froze at the sound of a familiar voice. It couldn’t be. He had been on the Enterprise for five months without even a whisper from Barrell, and now here he was stuck in the middle of medical and the bastard had decided to show up?

He couldn’t bring himself to look over at the door, but he knew he was right. Confirming it was just too terrifying. Leonard didn’t know if he would punch Barrell or fall to his knees for him, and the scariest part was he figured that with the right sweet words, he’d definitely be on his knees without a thought.

“Lieutenant Uhura, we’re going to need the room.” Looking over at the lieutenant, Leonard gave her a sharp nod to confirm he would be okay. He figured it wasn’t a total lie, since he was pretty sure Spock would take great offense to him being killed now that he actually wanted to sleep with him. Not to mention two Vulcan guards were still standing outside the door who would come running if Leonard so much as squeaked in a way they didn’t like. Watching her do a once over on him, Leonard chuckled when Nyota smacked him in the arm and moved to leave the room. 

Once Nyota was gone, Leonard took a deep breath and turned towards Kirk and Barrell. He made sure to keep his eyes off of Captain Barrell, since he wasn’t sure what looking at him would do for his new found resolve. “Is there something I can do for you, Jimmy?”

“Not for me so much.” 

Leonard narrowed his eyes. Was now really the time for Jim to make one of his stupid power plays over him? He didn’t need constant reminders that Jim was in control here. It was only behind a bedroom door that Leonard would ever dare take that control away, and Jim got a good fuck out of it. “Captain Barrell expressed some concerns over your health. Said he wanted to check up on you.”

“Concerns, sure.” Rolling his eyes, Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. “And by concerns, I assume he wanted to make sure his favorite toy was still loyal, and you wanted to test that idea out for yourself? Because, you know, loyalty is just so important to the Terran Empire.”

“Are you saying you’re not loyal?” Jim raised an eyebrow at him, a look Leonard recognized as dangerous if he didn’t fix himself. Problem was, he was kind of stuck. If he proclaimed loyalty to Barrell, he’d get his ass kicked by Jim. if he claimed that he was loyal to Jim, well he really didn’t want to think about what Barrell would do to him.

A shiver ran through his body. How the hell was he supposed to get himself out of this one?

“I’m sure Leo is very loyal.” The smug sound in Barrell’s voice sent shivers down Leonard’s spine. God, he hated how much he loved hearing that voice again. “I’m sure if he wasn’t, you would be quite aware of it. He did come under my command because he murdered his first captain.” 

Lowering his eyes, Leonard huffed when Jim smiled at that. It was obvious that he had never looked into Leonard’s file and what happened to his first captain. It wasn’t even like Leonard did that much. The guy had grabbed Leonard’s arm after being warned not to, and Leonard had stabbed him in the neck with his scalpel. The worst that happened was Leonard got a lot of blood on his face, and he got a replacement captain who made it very clear a move like that wouldn’t happen again.

A captain who made sure there was no repeats by claiming ownership over Leonard and taking away all of his toys. It was kind of hard to stab someone in the neck when you didn’t have your equipment, and Leonard had thought hard about that a few times in his first month with Barrell.

“Anyway,” waving his hand dismissively, Leonard glared over at Jim. “If you don’t need anything, I suggest you find something else to do. I have work I could be devoting my attention to.”

“Oh, Bones…” Leonard winced when he saw the way Barrell’s eye’s went wide at the sound of Jim’s stupid nickname for him. “I haven’t given you anyone to play with, so you really have no work to do.”

He really hated how right Jim was about that. If Leonard didn’t have someone to extract information from, he really had no work. Sure, he got the occasional person in medical looking for actual healing or a good time (like Nyota), but usually he was left board and sitting in his office with nothing to do.

“What do you want, Jimmy?” he asked again, this time putting more emphasis into his words. The less time he had to spend in the same room as Captain Barrell, the better. 

“I just wanted to ensure that Captain Barrell got here in one piece.” As he spoke, Jim closed the distance between himself and Leonard. “I have to go back to the Bridge, but I can assume I’ll find you both in one piece when I get back.”

“Don’t…” Leonard looked Jim in the eye, pleading with him not to leave. That was probably his first mistake, since the devilish smirk Jim gave him back told him that the Captain was going to enjoy leaving him behind. Sick bastard.

“It’s okay, Bones, I’ll be back.” Jim reached up and grabbed a fist full of Leonard’s shirt, using the material to pull the doctor down into a hard kiss. Looking over his shoulder, Leonard smirked to himself when he saw the way Barrell’s shoulders tightened. When Jim started to pull away, Leonard chased his mouth and caught his lower lip between his teeth. He wanted Barrell to see that he had moved on, that he had other options now. Once Jim managed to escape the kiss, Leonard smirked down at him and watched as he ran his fingers through his hair and turned away. “I’ll see you later, Bones,” he said dismissively, leaving the room without another word.

Standing his ground, Leonard took a deep breath and watched Barrell. He didn’t know what he was in for with this visit, so he had to prepare himself for anything.

“Leo…” okay, maybe not anything. He had definitely not prepared himself for the soft way that Barrell spoke his name, or the way that it made his knees weak.

He needed to escape.

“I have work to do.” Turning on his heel, Leonard made a beeline for his office. He could hear Barrell following, but he hoped he was fast enough to get in and close the door behind himself, to give himself even just a few second to get himself together and face the man.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky.

As soon as he had stepped into his office, Leonard found himself being forced to turn around to face Barrell, and a hand wrapped around his neck painfully. “I don’t believe I gave you permission to leave.”

“I don’t recall needing it,” Leonard hissed back, wincing when Barrell tightened his hand around his neck and prevented him from pulling air into his lungs. Holding his ground, Leonard glared back at Barrell and waited for him to make a choice. He was either going to beat the shit out of him or start speaking sweet words. Leonard just needed to prepare himself to stand his ground.

That’s why when Barrell released his grip on Leonard’s neck and chuckled, Leonard did nothing but catch his breath and touch the area of skin that was already starting to bruise. “You’ve been on your own too long, Leo. You’re starting to get mouthy again.”

“You left,” Leonard hissed back at him. “If you didn’t want me to get mouthy, you shouldn’t have left.”

Giving his shoulders a shrug, Barrell made his way towards Leonard’s desk and fell back against his chair. Great, now he was going to have to burn it. It was comfortable, too. “That’s your own fault, Leonard. You just had to go and catch someone else’s eye.”

Looking away, Leonard clenched his jaw. He was not going to have this conversation, damn it. He didn’t need to stand here and…

“Don’t move…” He stopped in mid-step and shuddered. The sharpness in Barrell’s voice was terrifying, something that Leonard recalled from his first few months with the man, and something that made the scars on his back burn. Holding his ground, Leonard lowered his eyes toward the ground and waited. Whatever Barrell wanted, he’d need to get to the point soon. Spock was due in about an hour for lunch, and Leonard was pretty sure he wouldn’t take kindly to finding the captain in his office alone with him. “See, you’re still a good listener. We’re going to have to work on it again, but I’m sure we’ll get you back to your obedient self.”

Leonard raised an eyebrow at the sound of that. “Work on that… you’re talking as if you’re here to take me back.” He wanted to kick himself when he started to relax. If Barrell took him back, at least he’d be safe. He wouldn’t need to keep fighting anymore, but he’d also be kept. He’d be back in the position of Barrell’s toy. He wouldn’t have Christine, Nyota, Jim and Spock to fool around with anymore, and he’d have to deal with all the harsh words mixed in with sweet promises.

He didn’t think he’d survive that situation again, so why did a part of him want it back?

“There will be no need to take you back, Leo. You’ll come with the ship.” Now this was getting ridiculous. Barrell was talking like he was going to get control of the Enterprise, and that just wouldn’t happen unless…

“No…” he turned his eyes towards Barrell and glared. “You’re not touching him.”

“That’s adorable. You’ve gotten attached.” Leaning forward, Barrell propped his elbows on Leonard’s desk and set his chin on top of his hands. “But you know how this works, Leo. I want the Enterprise, he best ship in the fleet.”

“I’m not going to let you near him,” Leonard growled, wincing when Barrell narrowed his eyes.

“I won’t need to go near him,” corrected Barrell. “I won’t be the one taking care of him. You’ll do that for me.”

“Are you insane!?” Leonard snapped, turning to face the other man. “You leave me behind for five months and then show up and expect me to just drop everything for you? Do whatever the fuck you please? It’s not happening!”

Barrell carefully folded his arms down on the desk and sighed. “I didn’t leave you, Leo,” he explained calmly. “I made a strategic switch. I let you stay on the Enterprise knowing you’d be able to make friends. It’s one of your few talents.” Leonard clenched his jaw at the sound of that. “And you did, Leo. You made a lot of friends. You even managed to squirm your way into Kirk’s pants, which doesn’t take a lot, I guess, but he seems invested. He drops his guard for you, and that’s not something a captain often does.”

“He does that because he knows I won’t kill him,” Leonard hissed. “That I won’t betray that trust. It’s good for him to have one or two people to drop his guard around, people who have no reason to want him dead.”

“But you do have a reason, Leo,” explained Barrell. “Or did you forget all those times we talked about the day I’d be the top captain in the fleet? All the times you laid your head on my lap and listened to my grand plan to get the captain’s seat on the Enterprise, and maybe even one day get an admiral’s rank.” 

Taking a step back, Leonard closed his eyes and tried to focus, to ignore all of the memories flooding into his mind. The times that he’d lain down in bed Beside Barrell and curled up in his arms while the captain explained his life goals. The way that he’d listen obediently and smile when Barrell mentioned then side by side on the Enterprise. 

That wasn’t his goal anymore. He had a life now, and he liked the Enterprise. He even liked Jim, manipulative and abusive fuck that he was. But Jim was upfront about that. Leonard was a good lay and a fun toy to have, but nothing more. Jim didn’t want blind obedience from him because it meant that he’d never whip him or punch him. Blind obedience meant Leonard would never fuck up. That Jim would never be able to hurt him as punishment, and Jim loved hurting Leonard and everyone else that he could.

“I’m not doing it,” he whispered again. “You want this ship, figure it out yourself. I’m not your obedient little pet anymore. I stopped being that when you cut out my eye and left me behind.”

“Did you?” Barrell pushed himself to his feet carefully and made his way around the desk towards Leonard. “Did you really stop being mine, Leo? Or are you just telling yourself that because you think it’s what you want?” Bringing his hand up to his mouth, Leonard nibbled on his thumb nail and tried to ignore Barrell as the captain walked into his space and brushed his fingers against the back of Leonard’s neck. “Do you think the Vulcan will keep you? Is that it? He’ll take you into his arms and provide safety and warmth.”

“He’ll do a hell of a better job than you,” Leonard hissed back, wincing when Barrell grabbed the back of his neck in a painful grip. 

“All he’s going to do is use you.” Barrell hissed against his ear. “He’ll say some pretty words and let you think he cares. Maybe he’ll even say he wants you to feel safe and cared for. He’ll act like he doesn’t want to hurt you, but you know it’s a game, Leo. It’s always a game. He’ll have his fun and he’ll leave you, and when he does, I won’t be waiting around for you. I’ll have my ship, my crew, and someone new by my side.”

Keeping his eyes trained on the floor, Leonard tried to focus on anything but Barrell’s words. He didn’t want to listen anymore. He didn’t want to hear all of his fears laid out before him; it hurt too damn much. 

“You know what you are, Leo, don’t you?” The reminder hurt. “I’ve told you before. What are you?”

Letting out a shaky breath, Leonard closed his eyes “Expendable,” he whispered weakly. “Replaceable. Nothing special.…”

“That’s right, Leo. He’ll find someone else, and as soon as he does, you’ll be left behind with no one to care for you. How long do you think you’ll survive?” asked Barrell.

“I survived five months….” He whispered weakly

“You survived because of those guards who placed themselves outside your office door as soon as we came in here,” Barrell corrected. “You didn’t survive because of any special skills you have. He wants you to survive for now, so you will. You’ll keep going until he doesn’t need you anymore.”

“Shut up….” Leonard begged. 

“What do you want, Leo? To be a replaceable toy to a first officer, or a kept pet to a captain? To the top captain in the empire. No one would ever be able to touch you, and if you’re good, I may even let you keep that pretty communications officer who was ready to pounce on you before I showed up.”

“I want…” Leonard’s voice wavered. He wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore.

He wanted soft hands and warmth. Kind words and the thought that someone actually cared about him. That someone maybe actually loved him.

But he also wanted Barrell. He wanted  _ his  _ captain back. 

“I want them safe….” He whispered, ashamed of his answer.

“You want them…?” Barrell laughed and shoved Leonard away from himself. “You want them safe? You think that’s how this works, Leo?”

“I want them safe,” he growled this time, looking Barrell in the eye. “Uhura, Chapel and Spock. I want them safe and unharmed.”

“God damn it, Leo…” Rubbing a hand over his face, Barrell continued to laugh “I leave you alone for five months and you go and get yourself...attached. If I didn’t like you so much, iId kill you for being a sentimental idiot.”

“I want them safe,” he growled again. He wasn’t going to put up with anything less. Uhura, Chapel and Spock were the only security he had on this damned ship, and he’d die before letting anyone take that away from him.

“Fine…” Barrell threw his hands up in the air. “Fine. You do this, and I’ll make sure they’re safe. I’ll even teach them their places so they can stay safe.” 

Nodding his head, Leonard glanced back at the floor and sighed as Barrell made his way back to his side and put a hand in his hair. “But you need to do this, Leo. I need you to get in there and make sure this ship is mine. Can you do that for me?”

Glancing up at Barrell, Leonard sighed when he saw the determination in his eyes. “Yes…” he whispered weakly. “I...I’ll do it….”

“Good boy.” He shivered at the sound of Barrell’s praise. “I’d fuck you, but I’m going to need you to be good and ready for Kirk, so we’ll have to save that for later.”

Leonard felt his stomach curdle at the idea. The last thing he wanted to do was have sex with Jim and then kill him, but he had to. It was the only way to get  _ his  _ captain back and make sure his friends were safe.

“I need to go…” he whispered weakly. If he was going to do it, he was damn well going to do it before Spock could come get him. If Spock even touched Leonard, he’d know something was up, and he didn’t want to have to explain that to Spock. He had made his choice and now he had to follow through with it.

“I’ll be here when you’re done,” promised Barrell, his voice sweet against Leonard’s ear. “You come to me when you’re done, and I’ll make sure you know what a good job you did, Leo. I’ll take care of you just like I always have.” 

Nodding, Leonard moved to leave the room, grunting when Barrell grabbed hold of his arm and spun him around to face him. He was about to protest when Barrell grabbed the back his hair and pulled him into a hard kiss. He stood there for a moment, letting himself get lost in the familiar taste of  _ his  _ captain: the way that Barrell tugged on his hair in order to force him to open his mouth and the familiar feeling of Barrell’s tongue delving into his mouth.

It was intoxicating. There was nothing safe or warm about the feeling, but it was familiar,  something Leonard had gotten used to a long time ago and knew was right. Him at Captain Barrell’s side was the only thing that would be right about this damned universe, and he hated himself for trying to fight it.


	13. Red Alert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard goes to Jim's room to kill him.

The past 20 minutes had been the biggest waste of Leonard’s time ever. He had been to the bridge looking for Jim, only to have Spock redirect him to the captain’s quarters, and the worst part was that he had narrowly avoided having Spock grab his arm when he made his escape back into the turbolift. He couldn’t imagine what would have happened if Spock sensed all of his anxiety and fear while they were in the middle of a bridge full of people. No, he needed to get to Jim ASAP and kill him.

He’d do it as nicely as possible. He’d let Jim fall asleep in bed and slit his throat. He didn’t need to be awake for any of it. 

Coming to a stop in front of Jim’s quarter’s, Leonard raised an eyebrow when one of the ensigns moved in front of him to prevent him from entering the room. “Is there something I can do for you, Ensign?” He put emphasis into the rank. There was no way he was going to let a low-level shit get in the way of doing his job.

“I’m sorry, sir. Captain Kirk asked not to be interrupted.” The Ensign’s voice wavered when Leonard glared at him. “He….he has a guest, sir.”

“Well, then I’m just going to have to disappoint that guest.” Reaching out, Leonard placed a hand on the ensign’s shoulder and shoved him out of the way easily. Stepping up to the door, he punched in his security code and smirked when the door slid open. A bonus of being the CMO was that there was no door on the Enterprise Leonard couldn’t open. “You…” he glanced back at the two Vulcan guards who had followed him there, “I’ll be back in an hour, max. Try not to get too bored.” Seeing both of them raise an eyebrow, Leonard smirked and stepped into the room.

Once he was inside the room, Leonard glanced over at the captain’s bed and sighed when Jim propped himself up on his elbows and smirked at him while a young lieutenant stopped sucking his cock to look at the door.

“You,” Leonard pointed at the lieutenant. “Out, now.”

Rather than responding to the doctor's order, the lieutenant turned her attention back to Jim and waited for him to either veto or confirm Leonard’s words. 

“I don’t recall you being allowed to walk in and interrupt me when I’m busy, Bones.”

“You don’t look busy,” smirked Leonard. “In fact, I’m assuming she’d take a good three hours just to get you properly hard. If you wanted a good lay, you should have asked to borrow Christine.”

“Excuse you….” Leonard watched as the woman moved to get up, only to have Jim wrap his arms around her waist and pull her down onto his lap. “At least I’m here for the sex. Everyone know’s the only reason you come to the captain’s quarters is so you can pretend you’re still the captain’s pet. That Kirk is your precious Barrell, who you still cry over.”

Smirking, Leonard glanced at Jim and raised an eyebrow. Really, the man did need better taste in one-time fucks. 

He took a few long steps towards the bed, watching as the lieutenant’s eyes followed him. Jim leaned down to kiss the back of her shoulder. He knew Jim was doing it to piss him off. The guy had no attachment to anyone he slept with, not even Leonard, but he was fully aware of how people could become attached to him, and damn it if he wasn’t right.

Leonard was attached, and he hated it. He had only had five months under Jim’s command, and he wanted more. More of that smart-assed bastard threatening to cut his throat when he talked back. More of that sweet scream Jim let out when Leonard fucked him. 

He wanted more, but this little shit of a lieutenant was right, and it annoyed him.

Reaching out, Leonard cupped the lieutenant’s chin and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. “Is that what they tell you so you feel good about yourself when he brings you to his room?” He asked calmly. “You just remind yourself that you’re here for Jim and not someone else? That you want him to fuck you and make you feel like you actually matter?”

He could see the smirk pulling at Jim’s lips. The bastard was enjoying this.

“At least I want the best captain in Starfleet rather than a second-rate knock-off,” the lieutenant spat. Tightening his grip, Leonard growled at her angrily. He was getting sick of this conversation. 

She wasn’t done yet.  “So I believe it’s you who should leave, Doctor. Besides, we wouldn’t want Mr. Spock thinking he had to share his new fucktoy with the captain, after all.”

Leonard didn’t know exactly how he had snapped the lieutenant’s neck so easily, but the satisfying crack of breaking bones and the way that her body slumped against Jim made his blood rush.

“Awww, Bones. You could have at least let me get a good fuck out of her.” Jim huffed, tossing the lieutenant’s body to the side and leaning back against his hands. “You’re always such a mood killer.”

Giving his head a shake, Leonard grabbed a handful of Jim’s hair and pulled his head back violently. “I don’t think you get to talk about me killing the mood,” he said with a growl, getting down onto the bed and licking a stripe up Jim’s neck. “You’re the one who brought Barrell into my medical bay and then left me alone with him. Your sick twisted way of seeing if I’d let him fuck me or if I’d come running to you, I assume?”

“Bones, you know me so well.” 

Nibbling on Jim’s neck, Leonard smirked when he shivered under the assault. “But don’t keep me waiting. Did you let him bend you over your desk before you came to me? Did he leave you unsatisfied, so you needed to come here and get your dick in me?”

Leonard shuddered. “Shut up, Jim,” he whispered, biting into Jim’s shoulder for emphasis. 

“Aww, come on Bones. I want to hear all about it.” Jim’s fingers made their way into the short brown strands of hair on Leonard’s head, tugging them just enough that Leonard had to release his shoulder and move back to look at Jim. “Did he fuck you, Bones? Did you take one look at him and drop your pants? Cry for him to take you?”

“I didn’t fuck him,” Leonard growled, annoyed with the conversation. He was here to have sex and kill Jim, not talk about Captain Barrell. “I came here because you’re a twisted fuck who left me alone with him, and I needed to get you back for that.”

“Hmmmm,” Jim frowned down at him. “So are you going to strangle me or fuck me?”

Running his hands up Jim’s stomach, Leonard smirked. At least the lieutenant had gotten Jim naked before Leonard got there. It saved him a lot of trouble. “I think you’d learn that it’s a bad idea to fuck with me if you’re alive.” Planting his hands on Jim’s shoulders, he shoved him down onto the bed. “In fact…” Leonard smirked to himself, reaching down to his side and unholstering the knife that all Terran Empire crew kept on them. Leonard didn’t use his for a lot, it was mostly decoration since using a hypospray full of neurotoxin was more his style, but right now seemed like an appropriate time to change that. “On your stomach.”

“You’re the Captain now?” Jim smirked, grunting when Leonard grabbed hold of his shoulder and forced him to roll over onto his stomach. “Awww, Bones. Did i upset you?”

“Shut up.” Leonard hissed, digging the tip of his knife into Jim’s shoulder and watching as the Captain buried his face into the mattress. “You don’t leave me with him Jim.” he warned, cutting deep into Jim’s shoulder as he spoke and watching as the Captain squirmed under him. “You want to have fun with me? You have a large variety of toys to use on me. I’ve seen a few of them.”

“You wouldn’t see them if you kept your smart mouth shut.” Jim reminded him, hissing when Leonard pulled his knife out and started to slice into his other shoulder. 

“Jimmy, we both know you’d get mighty board with me if i kept my mouth shut and didn’t give you a reason to hurt me once in awhile.” Leonard reminded him, watching carefully as he cut deeper into Jim’s shoulder and leaning down to lick up some of the blood. “Now, about leaving me behind with that ass hole…”

“And here i thought you liked your second rate Captain.” Leonard hissed, driving the knife a little deeper into Jim’s skin. It wasn’t enough to cause any real damage that would put a stop to them having sex, and it certainly wasn’t something Leonard couldn’t fix later, but it was a warning. One that Jim seemed to understand clearly, if the hiss he let out was any indication. 

Leonard was going to enjoy taking his time with Jim today. Remind him that Leonard wasn’t here just to be a punching bag for everyone, and that he wouldn’t stand idly by while Jim got some sick pleasure out of testing his mental stability.

* * *

 

Collapsing back against the bed, Leonard groaned when Jim lay down beside him and reached over to steal the knife from Leonard’s hand..

“You’re going to make sure there’s no scarring, right, Doctor?” Jim’s voice was playful, but Leonard could hear a hint of warning in it, a warning that if he didn’t make sure there was no permanent damage, Jim would make sure to pay him back two-fold.

“Me, leave permanent damage?” he smirked, watching as Jim held the knife in his hand and let it glide over Leonard’s chest. “Not on such a pretty back, captain. Then I’d start running out of space to add more cuts the next time we fuck.”

Smiling, Jim leaned down and nibbled at the tender skin on Leonard’s neck where he had already left a giant hickey for all to see. 

“You should get some sleep,” Leonard said softly, reaching up to put a hand in Jim’s hair. “You haven’t had a chance for proper sleep in two days, and don’t try lying to me. I keep track of that shit.”

“You sound worried.” Glancing down, Leonard chuckled when he saw Jim’s bright blue eyes watching him. “You think I’m going to collapse from exhaustion, Bones?”

“I think you would find a way to keep yourself on your toes,” Leonard corrected, and he knew he was right. He had seen Jim go a week without sleep and he always managed to find a way to wake himself up. This time, though, Leonard really needed him to go to sleep. “But as your Chief Medical Officer, someone who does spend a little time actually taking care of people’s health, I would suggest some real sleep.”

“Mmmmm.” Flopping back against the bed, Jim let his hand dangle over the edge and dropped the knife to the ground. “You know I can’t sleep until I’m exhausted.”

“You have two ensigns standing outside your door, Jim.” Leonard pointed out. “No one is going to come in a try to kill you.”

“You never know that. One of them may decide to try for a quick promotion. Spock may decide to come kill me so he can have the ship.” 

Leonard rolled his eyes at the sound of that. Jim knew as well as he did that Spock had no interest in commanding the ship. He got enough thrill out of being first officer and he did actually enjoy being a scientist. “Or Captain Barrell may use the opportunity to try and take the Enterprise from me.”

Thinking about it for a moment, Leonard sighed. Jim was right about one point, and he hated it. He needed to get this over and done with before he really started to doubt his ability to kill Jim.

He reached down to gather up his pants from the floor and found one of the hyposprays he kept at his side at all times. “Relax,” he said softly, sitting up and checking the contents of the hypospray to make sure it was the right one. “No one is going to do anything to you, Jimmy. I’ll put my personal security lock on the door so only I can come in and out.”

“And what if you’re here to kill me?” 

Leonard raised an eyebrow and glanced down at Jim. Paranoid little shit who was just a little too right in this case. 

“What if the lieutenant was right and you really do just want your second-rate captain back, but you’re a little too attached to the crew on this ship to give it up?”

“Jimmy, you sound like a crazy man.” Reaching forward, Leonard sighed when Jim grabbed his wrist and prevented him from pressing the hypospray to his neck. “It’s just going to knock you out. I promise I left the neurotoxin attached to my pants.”

As if he didn’t trust Leonard’s words, Jim checked the contents of the hypo himself and smirked. “Tell me why I should trust you with my life.”

“Jimmy, if I wanted you dead, I would have slit your throat while I was fucking you.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Leonard had thought about leaning forward and slitting Jim’s throat. It would have been quick and a lot easier than having to talk Jim into going the hell to sleep. Really, he was kind of an idiot for not taking the opportunity, but he couldn’t find it in himself to do it. “Just...you need one person to trust on this hellhole of a ship. Well...okay, two. You have Spock, and we both know you trust him enough to have him by your side at all times.” Giving his head a shake, Leonard leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Jim’s, a move that had the captain laughing. “I’m not going to hurt you, Jimmy, and I’m not going to let anyone else hurt you. I know you’re not going to trust my words and you’re definitely thinking that my loyalties still lie with Captain Barrell, but you’re wrong.”

“I’ve tortured you, hurt you, left you with your abuser, and enjoyed every moment of it.” Jim smiled up at him with bright eyes, a hint of mischief in his look. “Give me one good reason you have to keep me alive.”

“You’re a good fuck.” The two of them looked at each other before laughing. It wasn’t a lie, but it was also a shitty reason, and Leonard had only said it to get Jim to smile. The bastard had an intoxicating smile, bright and full of wonder when it wasn’t covered by mischief and twisted pleasure. “Okay, but seriously. One good reason?” Cupping Jim’s face, Leonard leaned down and pressed a hard kiss against his lips. “I kind of like it on this ship. Everything about this ship. There’s still the natural Terran Empire drive to murder your superior officers in order to get a promotion, but a few of the people are worth dealing with that bullshit for. You, surprising as it may be, are one of those people.”

Contemplating Leonard’s answer, Jim laughed. “Okay, but if you kill me, I assure you Mr. Spock will get you back for it.”

“I may enjoy that.” Leonard chuckled, bringing the hypo up and pressing it against Jim’s neck carefully. As soon as the hypo was empty, Leonard found himself watching as Jim’s eyes started to close. 

Running his fingers through Jim’s hair, Leonard watched carefully as he fell asleep. A small part of him wanted to kick himself for using an actual hypospray instead of switching it out for his neurotoxin, but this was Jim. He wasn’t going to make him suffer like he had done with so many others. Jim was worth way more than that.

“Sorry, kid…” he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to Jim’s forehead before he leaned over the edge of the bed to retrieve his knife. Once he had the knife in hand, Leonard sat up on the bed and pressed the knife against Jim’s neck.

It was going to be quick, painless, and really bloody, but right. It was all going to be right. Captain Barrell was going to have his ship, Leonard would still have Christine, Nyota, and Spock.

It was going to be right.

Except Leonard couldn’t do it. His hands shook at the thought of driving the knife into Jim’s neck, and he could barely keep hold of it, let alone actually stab someone with it.

“Damn it…” turning onto his back, Leonard brought a hand up to his forehead and screwed his eyes shut. This was supposed to be easy. He was going to get everything he wanted.  _ His  _ captain was going to take him back if he just did this one damned thing, and it wasn’t like it was new to him. Leonard had killed countless people during his time in the Terran Empire. Some of them were on a biobed screaming for mercy while he cut into them and smiled. Some of them were reactionary. They died to save Leonard’s life or the life of someone he cared about. He had even killed his first captain for nothing more than grabbing his arm and refusing to let go when Leonard wouldn’t let him rape a nurse in his medical bay.

He was just as much of a murderer as Jim, Barrell, or anyone else on this damned ship, and he had learned long ago that getting attached to people was a mistake. If they didn’t end up wanting him dead, they ended up getting killed by someone else. It’s how this whole process worked.

So why couldn’t he do it?

Opening his eyes slowly, Leonard drew in a slow breath and turned his head to look at Jim. he didn’t know how long he lay there watching Jim sleep, smiling to himself when the captain rolled onto his side and put a hand over Leonard’s chest. All he knew was looking at Jim while he was asleep was killing him, and he couldn’t be the one to take the man’s life.

“Damn it,” he whispered to himself again, getting out of the bed and collecting his clothing. Dressing himself, Leonard holstered his knife and sighed. He was going to get his ass kicked for this, but if Captain Barrell wanted Jim dead, he was going to have to do it his damned self.

Making his way towards the door, Leonard sighed when he looked back and saw the way that Jim curled into himself in his sleep. Barrell was right. He got attached way too damned easily.


	14. Shattered Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard has to face the consequences of letting Jim live.

Coming to a halt in front of his office door, Leonard glanced back at his two Vulcan guards. “Do me a favor…?” he whispered softly. “Call Spock down here.” He waited for them to process his request, smiling when one of them nodded to him and opening the door so he could step into his office.

“Leo!” Leonard watched as Captain Barrell stood up and clapped his hands together. “I assume everything went smoothly? You don’t have any blood on you, but I have heard about that interesting concoctions you came up with. I can just imagine Kirk screaming as that shit hit him.”

Clenching his jaw, Leonard stood there quietly. He didn’t know exactly how to tell Barrell he hadn’t done the job he had been sent for, especially since he knew exactly how that man’s anger worked.

He would be lucky if he survived long enough for Spock to get down to medical.

“Leo…” Barrell’s voice lowered, and he slowly made his way around the desk and closed the distance between them. “Leo, you did the job, right? You took care of Kirk?”

“I took care of him…” Leonard whispered. “I just didn’t kill him.”

He had expected the slap to his face and had braced himself for impact, but the following punch to the gut had Leonard doubling over into himself. “I sent you to do a job, Leonard.” he winced at the use of his full name. Coming from Spock, his name sent chills down his spine and made him feel all sorts of fuzzy happy emotions. From Barrell, however, it was poison, a sound he had learned to hate over the years and which he still struggled with from people who said it with sweetness. “I sent you to do one simple job and you fucked it up? What, did he figure out you were there to kill him and send you packing? Did you forget those sweet words you’re so good with when you want to get laid?”

“You don’t know a damned thing about what I say to get laid,” Leonard growled back at him, hissing when Barrell grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back violently.

“You think I didn’t go for you knowing what I was getting into?” Barrell asked with malice in his voice. “That I wasn’t aware I was picking the weakest person I could find. Someone who was easy to manipulate and who needed a heavy hand to learn his place?”

“I’m not…” Leonard hissed when Barrell tugged on his hair again.

“Don’t give me that, Leonard. You went weak at the knees for me. It was the easiest game I’ve ever played.” Leonard winced at the sound of that. It wasn’t that he didn’t know he was a game to Barrell; he just really didn’t like hearing it said out loud. “All I had to do was tear you down and build you back the way I wanted, and you were so easy to tear down. A few hard words and you were on your knees for me. Some good whippings for being a smart mouth and you were begging me to keep you safe. To take you under my protection.”

“Shut...up…” Leonard hissed, throwing a fist into Barrell’s stomach and forcing him a step back. “Just shut up! You don’t know anything about me!”

“I had you beside me for two years!” Barrell screamed back at him. “I learned everything I needed to know even before that: the fact that you’re weak and sentimental. That I can use particular people against you to get exactly what I want.” Leonard threw another punch, this time aiming for Barrell’s face, and grunted when Barrell grabbed his wrist and twisted it violently behind his back. “Is that what I have to do, Leonard? Do I have to show you how serious I am about this?”

“Fuck off,” Leonard hissed, trying to wiggle himself free of Barrell’s grip.

“Who do I need to kill, Leonard?” inquired Barrell as he twisted Leonard’s arm back even further and listened to him scream. “Should it be that pretty Nurse that you’ve grown so attached to? Or the lieutenant you were so eager to fuck when I showed up?” Hearing the smugness in Barrell’s voice, Leonard growled. “Maybe I should kill Mr. Spock. You do seem attached now that you’ve had time with him. So eager to please him and make sure he thinks you belong to him now.”

“Shut...up!” Leonard growled, hissing when Barrell put a hand on the back of his neck and pushed down until Leonard’s arm started to crack. If he applied any more pressure, Leonard was sure his arm would be dislocated. “They’re not part of this.”

“No, you made them part of this.” Barrel growled. “I asked you to do a simple job. Any idiot could have done it, Leonard, especially given how easily he’ll let you share a bed with him, how eager he is to have you screaming for him to fuck you.”

“As I said, you don’t know dick-all,” Leonard hissed, kicking a foot back and grunting when Barrell let go of him and fell to his knees. “He doesn’t fuck me, though I imagine you’re finding that hard to believe given how ‘weak’ I’m supposed to be.”

Barrell began to laugh. “Of course, everyone needs someone to top and you just happened to find yourself a captain willing to be your slut.”

Turning around in his spot, Leonard cracked Barrell across the jaw and watched as he hit the ground. He would have been a lot more proud of the hit, too, if his hand hadn’t hurt like hell afterwards.

“You’re not touching them,” he growled, taking a step back and cradling his hand. “You’re going back to your pathetic excuse for a ship and you’re staying the fuck away. I won’t let you near them.”

“You think that’s up to you?” Barrell snarled.

Leonard stood back and watched as Barrell got to his feet with a bloody nose and a cut lip from the ring that Leonard kept on his pinky. “You think i’m just going to stand by and let you tell me what i’m going to do? A doctor?”

“I’m not going to let you near them,” Leonard hissed, grunting when Barrell stepped forward and wrapped a hand around his throat. Reaching up to grab hold of the captain’s wrist, Leonard gasped when Barrell closed his hands around his throat and squeezed, blocking his air.

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Barrell hissed. “You get down on those knees for me and beg me for forgiveness. Promise me you’ll go back to Kirk’s room and do what you were told to.”

Squeezing Barrell’s wrist, Leonard did his best to pull his hand away from his throat so he could breathe.

“When you get back, you beg me in that sweet voice of yours not to hurt your friends, and you cry a little when I decide to think about it. And when i finally decide I’m going to only kill one of them, you choose. You tell me which one means the most to you so that i know who to shoot in the face in front of you. So I know who to kill to make you learn your place and never…” he squeezed Leonard’s throat a little harder for emphasis, “question or disobey me again.”

Feeling the grip on his neck being released, Leonard drew in a harsh breath and collapsed to his knees. His throat burned with each breath he drew in, and Barrell knelt down in front of him as he tried to find his footing again.

When Barrell reached out to cup his face, Leonard winced away. “Why don’t you just kill me?” he growled at Barrell, groaning when his throat burned around each word he spoke. “If I’m just so much damned trouble, why keep me alive?”

“Oh Leo….” The fake softness in Barrell’s voice caught Leonard off-guard, and the way that Barrell brushed his fingers against his face with false kindness made his skin burn. “What fun would it be if I killed you? I’ve put so much work into you, and you’re not a lost investment quite yet.”

Lowering his head, Leonard screwed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the way that Barrell laid a hand across the back of his neck, a gesture Barrell had made hundreds of times over the years. It was one of possessiveness over Leonard that the doctor knew all too well, and which made him melt, helpless.

Except it was only a second before that gesture was gone. The hand on his back disappeared, and Leonard found himself looking up in time to see Spock slamming Barrell against the nearest wall of his office.

“Leonard, did he cause you harm?” Spock’s words were soft, but Leonard could hear the anger behind them: an anger that wasn’t directed at him for once, but at Barrell, at the man who had destroyed Leonard and controlled him for years, and who was now pinned against a wall with a smirk on his face.

“You think i harm him?” Barrell chuckled. “Anything I do to him, he wants. The sweet act you have isn’t for Leo. He needs to be controlled and sometimes control takes a good beating.”

“Leonard…” Spock turned to look at Leonard, his eyes scanning over him carefully and narrowing when he noticed the bruises on his neck. Before Leonard could respond to his previous question, Spock turned around and landed a solid left hook against Barrell’s face. A second hit followed quickly, and a third and fourth, before Spock let go of Barrell and watched him crumple to the ground.

“Spock…” Leonard started to push himself to his feet slowly, wincing when his stomach protested from where Barrell had hit him earlier. Seeing the way that Leonard curled up into himself, Spock moved to sit down on Barrell’s waist and started to throw punch after punch. Leonard wasn’t sure how many times Spock hit Barrell. He only knew the familiar sound of bones cracking under the continuous strikes, and when he looked up again there was blood all over the floor and Barrell’s face had started to cave in. “Spock, god damn….” Pushing himself up, Leonard did the best to ignore his pain and moved to Spock’s side, grabbing the Vulcan’s arm when he pulled back for another punch. “Spock, he’s dead. You can stop.”

Feeling Spock’s arm relaxing in his grip, Leonard let out a weak breath and carefully pulled him away from Barrell’s body. It took all of his strength to turn his back to Barrell, . to ignore the blood soaking into his pants when he knelt down in front of Spock and took his hand so he could check for damage.

It wasn’t that Leonard was sad that Spock had just beaten the man to death. A part of him was relieved. He wouldn’t have to stand by and watch anyone being murdered because he failed to do what Barrell wanted, and that was an amazing feeling. It felt like  freedom, except Leonard knew he’d never truly be free in the Terran Empire. This was close enough, though, and all he wanted to do now was make sure that Spock was all right.

“Leonard…” glancing up from Spock’s hand, Leonard felt his hands starting to shake when he saw the soft look in Spock’s eyes. It wasn’t right. He had just watched the man beat the ever-loving shit out of Barrell with nothing but fury, and now he was sitting here being assaulted by Spock’s love. “Are you alright?”

Leonard found himself at a loss for words. All right? No, he wasn’t all right. His body hurt, breathing was still a painful endeavor, and he couldn’t get the image of Spock, Christine, and Nyota dead at his feet because of his choices, because he couldn’t kill one man.

“No…” he finally forced the word out. “No….” Holding onto Spock’s hand, Leonard leaned down to press his forehead against Spock’s shoulder. He wasn’t all right, and he probably wouldn’t be for a long time, but the way Spock slid his fingers into Leonard’s hair and held him close told him that one day he might be. One day he might actually have someone who loved him in this twisted and fucked-up universe.


	15. A New Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock take's Leonard back to his quarters.

Following Spock into his quarters, Leonard kept his head down and tried his best to ignore the way certain crewmen looked at him during their walk through the hallways. He knew what they were thinking. By now the news of Captain Barrell’s murder at Spock’s hand had gotten around, and people still believed that Leonard was blindly loyal to the man. Either they thought Spock had claimed ownership over him by force, or that he was currently too broken by the murder of Captain Barrell to fight back.

Usually he’d take the time to correct them and show them how he’d stood up for himself for the first time in years.  He’d let them know how he stayed back and watched Spock beat Barrell’s face in, but he was tired.

He was tired and everything hurt, so right now he kept his trap shut and followed Spock.

Once the doors had closed behind him, Leonard let out the breath he’d been holding since the moment he’d walked out of his office and watched a couple of ensigns cleaning up the mess that Spock had made. The next thing he did was fall to his knees.

It wasn’t the same way he would lower himself for Captain Barrell. There was no fear of being hit, or hope for tenderness when Spock came to his side. This time, when Leonard fell to his knees, it was because he wanted to.

“Leonard.…” He watched Spock’s feet carefully. The way they turned around in their spot and made their way back towards him. The way they stopped directly in front of him and stayed in his line of sight while Spock reached down to put a hand in his hair. Leonard knew this was what Spock wanted. Not blind obedience, but willing surrender: someone who wanted to be there for him and only him.

“Do I have to give everyone up?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the floor while Spock ran his fingers through his hair.

“As I have observed, your relationship with Nurse Chapel rarely involves sex and usually focuses on you pleasuring her.” Spock’s words were soft, the kindness emphasised by the way he knelt down in front of Leonard slowly and kept his hand in his hair. “As for Nyota, as she is a recurring companion of my own. I am sure we can sort things out.”

“And Jim?” Leonard finally allowed himself to look up at Spock, sighing when he saw the softness in the Vulcan’s eyes.

“I believe it is good for the captain to have someone who takes control from him once in awhile.” 

Leonard raised an eyebrow. How the hell did Spock know about that? “There is a device I use to ensure that the captain is safe. It’s called the Tantalus device, and it allows me to follow the captain wherever he is on the ship and...take care of anyone who may wish to cause him harm.”

“Including his bedroom?” asked Leonard.

“It does seem to be the area in which the captain is in the most danger, if today is to be used as an example.” Wincing, Leonard lowered his eyes once more. Now he was really in trouble. “I will not hurt you this time, Leonard. You made the correct choice and you ensured that the captain was safe when you left. Your loyalties were proven.”

“But don’t do it again…” Leonard whispered.

“That would be preferable, yes.” Spock’s hand started to move through Leonard’s hair, parting the strands gently and letting them fall back into place as he started again. 

Nodding, Leonard closed his eyes and tilted his head back so that Spock could run his fingers down the side of his face. The touch was intoxicating, making Leonard’s nerves spark to life. He had never experienced such a feeling before, and he wanted to chase it when Spock withdrew his fingers and started to walk away, but he thought better of it. If Spock wanted him to follow, he would tell him.

“I presume your gesture alongside your question means that you are asking me to take...ownership of you?” The words were soft and careful, but Leonard could hear a hint of amusement in Spock’s voice. The bastard was excited that this was finally happening, and Leonard couldn’t fault him for it. He had been patient for the past five months, and it finally seemed to be paying off.

“If that’s what you still want,” Leonard responded, watching as Spock opened one of the drawers to his dresser and carefully pulled out a small black box. “You never really explained what you wanted out of me, so I’m not...really sure…”

Spock closed the drawer and placed the black box on the top of the dresser, a smile tugging at his lips as he did. The smile was something Leonard didn’t get to see often because of the Vulcan’s discipline in controlling his emotions, but it was dazzling. Nothing giant like Jim’s soft and warm smile, but simple, something reserved only for Leonard. 

“I am more than willing to claim ownership over you, Leonard.” Spock spoke tenderly, opening the box and picking up a soft black leather collar with purple highlights all around it. The sight made Leonard shiver in anticipation. One thing he had missed was the feeling of a collar around his neck, though he could do without the harsh marks they left behind. “However, my ownership is far different than Captain Barrell’s was.”

Biting his lower lip, Leonard watched as Spock made his way over to him with the collar in hand, a golden tag at the front catching his eye when Spock stopped in front of him. “What is it?” he asked, unable to take his eyes off of the collar. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to be loyal,” explained Spock. “Have your sexual encounters with Nurse Chapel, Captain Kirk, and Lieutenant Uhura, but always come back to me. Your place is by my side, not theirs. Your loyalty belongs to me, as does your love. Also, do your job in Medical and whatever extra is asked of you, but return to my side if you are called, without hesitation or complaint.” 

“Is that all?” asked Leonard, his eyes tracing over the soft purple lines in the collar while Spock brought a hand back into his hair.

“One final thing,” Spock stated, running his fingers through Leonard’s hair and watching as the doctor closed his eyes and moaned against the tender touch. “When you’re in this room with me, I do not want to see you in clothing.”

Leonard snorted at the sound of that. “Classy…” he chuckled, smiling up at Spock when the Vulcan gripped a hand full of hair and pulled his head back gently. Thinking about it for a second, Leonard chuckled again. “All right, I think I can manage that.”

“I don’t believe that is an adequate response to my request,” objected Spock, his grip on Leonard’s hair getting tighter.

Smirking, Leonard turned his head just enough so that he could kiss the inside of Spock’s wrist. “Loyalty, punctuality when summoned, and a lack of clothing in the quarters.” He listed everything Spock had told him, watching as the Vulcan smiled in response. “That’s not a problem, sir.”

Apparently, Spock finally had the answer that he wanted, because the next thing Leonard knew Spock was releasing his grip on his hair and undoing the clasp on the collar in his hand. The collar fell open easily, and the tag at the front dangled in front of Leonard’s eyes just long enough for him to see the engraved words on the front. It was gorgeous writing, simple and engraved in the golden metal tag, but Leonard couldn’t read a damn word of it because it was in Vulcan.

Apparently, he didn’t need to ask for a translation. As Spock slipped the collar around his neck and started to fasten it in place, he ran his finger over the tag and smiled to himself, a triumphant sort of smile, if Leonard was at all good at reading the Vulcan. “It says ‘Property of  S'chn T'gai Spock.’”

“That’s a mouthful.” Leonard smirked up at him, groaning when Spock finished fastening the collar around his neck and ran a finger up the side of his face, resting his hand against  Leonard’s cheek.

“But it is quite correct,” Spock assured him. 

“Damn right it is.” Seeing the smile growing on Spock’s face, Leonard sat up on his knees and reached down to take off his shirt while Spock watched. He didn’t want to be breaking his promises so soon after getting his new collar, after all.

Getting his uniform shirt off, Leonard folded it carefully and placed it off to the side before moving to take off the golden sash around his waist. Above him, Spock watched with interest as Leonard undid the sash and folded it, placing it on top of his uniform shirt and starting on his pants.

It didn’t take long for Leonard’s shoes, socks, pants, and boxers to join the growing pile of clothing, and pretty soon he was standing in front of Spock stark naked and a little ashamed. Leonard didn’t really have the kind of body most people liked to see naked. Sure, he was fit, but he also had scars on his back that he could never heal due to being unable to reach them, and a tattoo on his hip that just said “property of Ryan Barrell,” because apparently a tag hadn’t been enough for the captain to show his ownership over Leonard.

Spock’s eyes scanned over Leonard’s naked body, stopping for a second on the tattoo before continuing down to his leg and coming back up to meet Leonard’s eyes. “You are a splendid sight, Leonard, though….” Taking a step closer, Spock cupped Leonard’s cheek in his hand and leaned down to kiss his neck gently. “I’m not very fond of that tattoo of yours.”

“I’d need a laser to get rid of it,” whispered Leonard, shivering when Spock ran his tongue up the side of his neck. 

“That will not be necessary,” Spock said softly. Letting his eyes roam, Leonard winced when he saw Spock reaching for the knife strapped to his leg, a standard weapon for everyone in the Terran Empire. He didn’t need Spock to explain what was going to happen to know that the next few seconds were going to hurt like a bitch, but Leonard was surprisingly okay with that. Carving a nasty tattoo off his skin was probably one of the least painful things he had ever experienced, especially since not too long ago he had been choked to near unconsciousness.

What did surprise him, though, was the way Spock moved his hand to cradle the back of Leonard’s neck and leaned forward to press their lips together in a hard kiss. Bringing his hands up to Spock’s waist, Leonard laid them down gently and held on while Spock cut into the skin on his hip. The first slice was careful, carving beneath Leonard’s skin and right across the inked words that stained his hip. Leonard would usually complain, but the way Spock cut had him opening his mouth and gasping, which Spock took immediate advantage of, slipping his tongue into Leonard’s mouth to explore. 

The second slice was rougher, sliding across Leonard’s hip and the area he knew contained the words ‘Ryan Barrell.’ The only reason he knew was because the pain radiated a little lower than the first cut, meaning Spock was determined to slice off every single word, and really, Leonard wasn’t complaining.

In fact, he could feel himself getting turned on by the way that Spock rubbed the blood off his blade against the side of Leonard’s leg. Or the way that he grabbed the bleeding hip once he had put his knife away and dug his fingers into it just hard enough that Leonard had to grunt in pain and pull away from the kiss to hide his face in Spock’s shoulder.

“Fuck…” he whispered, groaning when Spock released his grip and ran his palm down the inside of Leonard’s thigh. He could feel the blood rolling down his hip and leg and a tingling pain on his hip. It was an amazing feeling. It hurt just enough to remind Leonard that Spock had now claimed full ownership over him. That he had cut away any reminder that Leonard had belonged to someone else once, and ensured that Leonard wouldn’t forget who owned him now.

Leonard could feel his knees getting weak at the thought of belonging to Spock, to someone who actually wanted him for more than just a quick, easy fuck. Someone who wanted his talents as a doctor, didn’t mind his smart mouth, and was more than happy to wait for him to realize where he belonged. He only knew one way to show his appreciation for all of that, but when he tried to lower himself to his knees, Spock stopped him.

“Spock…” glancing up at the Vulcan, Leonard frowned when he saw a determined look in Spock’s eyes, and just about crawled out of his skin when Spock wrapped his arms around his waist and lifted him off of his feet effortlessly. “Shit!” Wrapping his legs around Spock’s waist for support, Leonard leaned forward and put his hands on Spock’s back while he walked them towards the bed. 

This was definitely new. Usually Leonard would be on his knees sucking Spock off in the middle of the floor instead of being laid down gently on the bed while Spock kissed his neck.

“I have no intention of sleeping with you on the floor,” answered Spock, his breath brushing against Leonard’s neck lightly. “Also, I believe today you deserve ...something extra, for the way you stood up for yourself and the captain, and for your refusal to listen to Barrell’s insults.”

Leonard was about to ask what Spock meant by that when Spock stole the words out of his throat by leaning down and licking the tip of his cock. “Shit…!” His head fell back against the bed. No one had ever put their mouth near Leonard’s cock, especially since Leonard wasn’t the kind to take sexual favors without consent from the other party, and he usually prefered being the one pleasuring them.

This was all very new to him. 

Ignoring Leonard’s outburst, Spock took hold of the base of Leonard’s cock in order to hold him still, and slowly wrapped his mouth around the tip. If Leonard hadn’t already been shaking with arousal, he certainly was now.

“Shit…” he whispered again, twisting his fingers into the bedsheets while Spock ran his tongue up the tip of his cock. “Spock.” 

Spock started to suck gently while Leonard whispered his name over and over. He didn’t bother trying to take any more of Leonard’s length into his throat, instead swiping his tongue over the tip.

“Spock…” Leonard leaned up so he could look down at Spock, watching the amazing blowjob. “Spock...you keep this up, I’m….I’m going to come and…” he dropped his head back when Spock finally started to lower himself on his cock. “Fuck....I really want to come with you...inside me…!”

Finally, Spock withdrew slowly and let Leonard fall out of his mouth while the doctor tried to get his breathing under control. “I was not aware you were so easy to please.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, which Leonard would usually protest against, but at that moment he was a little too impatient to have Spock fuck him. 

“First blowjob, kind of amazing.” Leonard admitted, rolling his eyes when Spock raised an eyebrow. “Anyway, before you get an ego, how about you try fucking me and seeing if you’re any good at that?”

Leonard smirked when Spock responded by pinning his hands down to the mattress while he knelt between his legs. Apparently he didn’t like his abilities in bed being questioned.

“There is lube in the top drawer on your right.” The words were soft, but Leonard could tell they were an order rather than an explanation. With Spock in between his legs, it was a little hard for Leonard to turn over and open the drawer, but he managed to grab hold of the handle with only his torso twisted and pulled the drawer open. After that, it was simple. The lube was near the front of the drawer, so it didn’t take him long to hunt it down, and once he had it in hand he held it up for Spock with a playful smile.

After Spock took the bottle from him, Leonard surged up and slammed their lips together in a hard kiss, shivering when Spock brought his free hand up into his hair and held him there. When they slowly started to pull apart, Spock took a moment to catch Leonard’s bottom lip between his teeth and nibble on it before releasing Leonard from the kiss.

“Okay…” Leonard smirked up at him, watching as Spock looked down at his hands and popped the lube open so he could start coating his fingers. “Maybe you’re decent in bed.”

“You’re attempting to… provoke me into an illogical response,” accused Spock.

“Well, you can’t blame me for trying,” Leonard smirked, watching as Spock peeked up at him for a moment and spread the lube over his fingers. “You are half human, and you’re most likely to respond with human emotions when you’re compromised in some way. That could be due to drugs, illness or even something as simple as arousal.”

Raising an eyebrow, Spock put a hand under Leonard’s left leg and lifted it up so that he could place it on his shoulder. “It seems you have spent time thinking about ways to force an emotional response out of me.” Without letting Leonard respond, Spock ran one finger between his ass cheeks until he found his hole, and slowly started to slide his finger in. 

Tilting his head back, Leonard let out a long groan and tried to focus on relaxing his muscles. “Well, to be fair…” Spock pushed his finger in deeper when he attempted to speak. “Fuck…”

“You do seem to have a colourful vocabulary, Leonard.” Spock mused, easing his finger out and sliding it back in while Leonard lifted his lower back further off of the bed to give him better access. “I believe you said ‘fuck’ about seventeen times while you were in bed with Captain Kirk.”

“Really, not the time to….talk about oth….other people I fuck,” protested Leonard. For the next little while, both of them fell silent. The only sounds were Leonard’s soft gasps, various moans, and a few ‘fucks’ thrown in for good measure. Spock used the silence to focus on easing a second and then third finger into Leonard and watching as the doctor squirmed on the bed, pleading for more every once in awhile.

After what felt like forever (to Leonard), Spock started to withdraw his fingers and let Leonard’s leg fall back down to the bed while he reached down to undo his pants. 

Lifting his head off of the bed, Leonard looked down at Spock and groaned when he saw him shoving his pants off and letting them fall from his ankles over the edge of the bed. “Fuck…” he whispered, his eyes going wide when Spock looked up at him.

Licking his lips, Leonard watched with interest as the boxers quickly joined Spock’s pants, and Spock wrapped a hand around his cock. Until today, Leonard had never actually seen a Vulcan cock. His work didn’t usually require people to get naked, and Spock was definitely the first Vulcan he had ever decided to have sex with, so it was a little surprising to Leonard to see he had a very humanlike cock.

At least, that’s what he thought until he realised that Spock’s cock had little barbels all around the tip. Either this was going to be really painful, or really fucking amazing. Leonard wasn’t quite sure which. 

Feeling Spock’s hands settle on his hips, Leonard followed the grip easily and lifted his feet so that Spock could have easier access. It took a little maneuvering, and a lot of Leonard rolling his eyes into the back of his head when Spock’s cock rubbed up against his ass (it was amazing, definitely amazing), before Spock finally found the right position and slowly started to push in.

“Fuck…!” Leonard was pretty sure Spock was going to get him a dictionary after this and ask him to find other words to use in bed so it wasn’t just a constant mantra of ‘fuck’ over and over again. Until then, however, that one word was going to have to do, because it was all Leonard could think of when the barbed tip rubbed against the muscles in his ass.

Spock’s fingers dug into Leonard’s skin, reminding him of the cuts in his hip when a spark of pain ran through his body, causing Leonard to arch his back off of the bed. It wasn’t just the fact that Spock’s cock was now rubbing perfectly against the inside of his ass, causing every nerve he had in there to overload with pleasure, but also the ownership Spock displayed. His fingers never left Leonard’s hips, even though he figured it must have been hard for Spock to hold onto his skin, slippery with blood. Spock wanted to remind him that he belonged to him now, before, during and probably even after sex, and Leonard couldn’t help but groan at the thought. He loved it.

“Harder…” whispered Leonard, his fingers curling into the bedsheets when Spock drove in a little harder. “Yes. Spock...fuck…” It definitely hurt to have Spock drive into him, but Leonard enjoyed it. Without a little pain, sex was boring.

“Your vocabulary needs work, Leonard.” He rolled his eyes at the sound of that. Leave it to Spock to complain about how he spoke during sex.

“So does your ability to fuck,” he shot back, screaming when Spock responded by slamming into him. Leonard wasn’t quite sure how much of Spock’s cock he had taken, but it was amazing. He was definitely going to be sore afterward.

Feeling Spock’s hand leaving his hip, Leonard groaned when those long fingers started to wrap around his neck, just over top of his new collar and over the bruises Captain Barrell had left there. “I do not like other people’s marks on you,” Spock huffed, pulling out a fraction before thrusting further into Leonard and watching as his eyes slid closed.

“You could have let me heal them,” Leonard pointed out, groaning when Spock continued to fuck him, “or…” his mind blanked when Spock nailed his prostate. 

“You were saying something?” Leonard could practically hear the triumphant smirk in Spock’s voice.

“Nothing…” he whispered, prying one hand away from the bed sheets and wrapping it around the wrist currently hovering over his neck. “Though...you could make your own.”

Taking his cue, Spock moved his other hand off of Leonard’s hip and planted it on the bed beside his head, using the new position to lean down and attach his mouth to Leonard’s neck. Leaning his head back, Leonard gave Spock as much room as possible to bite at the skin over one of the bruises over his collar.

“Fuck…” Spock’s hand tightened a little when Leonard spoke, just enough to hold him down while he started to suck on the tender skin of Leonard’s neck. It wasn’t as if Leonard planned on moving anywhere, considering how amazing it felt to have Spock claiming him with a hickey, but he also enjoyed the possessive feeling that came with having Spock’s hand around his neck. He knew it wasn’t there to cause him harm, just to remind him that he belonged to Spock and he did whatever Spock wanted him to, including not moving an inch while he worked.

Of course, Spock’s hips were also still working, so Leonard couldn’t move even if he wanted to; he was too busy being fucked into oblivion. He could still feel the barbs on Spock’s cock rubbing against his muscles, causing every nerve to light up with pleasure every single time Spock moved. It was amazing, and Leonard didn’t think anyone else could come close to being this good at fucking him.

Thankfully, the only other guy he’d be screwing after this was very much a bottom for him, so there wasn’t going to be any competition.

“Spock…” Leonard whispered, tightening his grip on Spock’s wrist while the Vulcan pulled back from his neck and admired his work. It was unlikely that there was a bruise showing up quite yet, but if the painful tingle in his neck was any sort of hint, Leonard figured he’d have one hell of a hickey later on. “Spock...dear God…”

“What is it?” Spock raised an eyebrow at him, watching as Leonard arched his back when he managed to hit his prostate. “Is there is something you want Leonard, I suggest you speak up.”

“Harder…” Leonard whispered, screaming when Spock slammed into him.  This was definitely in the top ten of Leonard’s ‘most amazing feelings ever’ list. “Fuck...yes, Spock…” tilting his head back, Leonard groaned when Spock returned his one hand to his hip. By now the blood was dry and Spock could easily hold on while he drove into Leonard, using the position to thrust in deeper while Leonard gasped and screamed in pleasure. 

After a few more assaults on his prostate, Leonard could feel the pit of his stomach turning into nothing but knots and the urge to come taking over. “Shit...Spock…” he whispered, wanting to warn the Vulcan.

“I believe the point of this exercise is to achieve orgasm.” Leonard didn’t know why he found that sentence so hot, but he did, and there was no way he could doubt it. He especially loved the way that Spock tilted his hips up and drove in hard, groaning when Leonard’s muscles started to tighten around him.

“Fuck…” Leonard growled, doing his best to ignore the sticky feeling on his stomach as he came. He really hated getting himself messy, but he figured it was worth it for the way Spock lowered his head and slammed into him once more before going stiff. 

Leonard held out his arms and grunted when Spock leaned forward and collapsed into his arms. “You’re heavy,” he accused, laughing when Spock responded by tilting his head up and biting at his collarbone. “Just saying.”

Rather than entertain Leonard, Spock planted his hands on the bed and carefully pulled out, leaving the doctor feeling empty but making up for it when he reached over and open one of his drawers and returned with a towel. At least he didn’t have to deal with sticky come on his stomach for long. 

After cleaning himself, Leonard bunched up the towel and tossed it towards the laundry basket. Thankfully, Leonard actually managed to hit his target, because he really didn’t feel up to getting out of bed for a damn towel.

As soon as he had settled back into the bed, Leonard found himself watching as Spock moved off to his side and lay down, putting a hand on Leonard’s shoulder and pulling him against his side. Burying his face into Spock’s chest, Leonard smiled happily while the Vulcan started to pet his hair. 

“Leonard…” 

Tilting his head up, Leonard closed his eyes when Spock started to pet the back of his neck. 

“There is one thing concerning me.”

“What is it?” he asked, leaning in to kiss the skin just under Spock’s uniform shirt. 

There wasn’t an immediate response, but Leonard could feel a sense of worry starting to seep through him. A product of Spock’s hand touching him so freely, he guessed. “I spoke with your guards before we left your office…”

“I know.” Leonard whispered, wishing they didn’t have to focus on his office or anything that had happened there, but if Spock wanted him to answer questions, he was going to be a good boy and tell him what he wanted.

“They informed me of the arguments.” 

Leonard shook his head. Of course he knew they had heard every word of what he and Captain Barrell had said. They had enhanced Vulcan hearing, and it wasn’t like the two of them were being particularly quiet. “I want you to know that Captain Barrell was wrong.”

Raising an eyebrow, Leonard glanced up at Spock and watched as the Vulcan examined him carefully. “Wrong about what?” he asked, sighing when Spock ran his fingers down his back tenderly.

“You are not replaceable.” Spock answered, his fingers sliding across Leonard’s back as he spoke. “And you are certainly not worthless.”

Hiding his face in Spock’s chest again, Leonard screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He wasn’t so sure he was ready to hear how he was perfect and good and all that other bullshit Barrell used to say to him between the insults and the beatings. 

“Leonard…” Spock’s hand left his back, and his fingers curled under Leonard’s chin a second later and tilted his head up. “I do not expect you to believe me so soon. Not after everything you have been though, but I assure you, I am not lying.”

“Right, Vulcans don’t lie.” Leonard huffed in amusement.

“It is one of our better qualities,” agreed Spock, his fingers rubbing against Leonard’s chin tenderly. “However, what I say is the truth, and I assure you it will not change. You are here because I am fascinated by you: by your tenderness with those you care about, mixed with your ruthlessness when you’re working. I enjoy your sarcastic comments, even though they are not always appreciated. I will not grow bored of you, and you will never be replaceable to me.”

Looking down at his own hand, Leonard watched as he played with the material of Spock’s uniform shirt. There wasn’t really much for him to say. He knew Spock wasn’t lying to him, but a part of him still feared the day when Spock would get bored with him and toss him aside. 

For now though, he took Spock at his word. Maybe one day he’d get used to the idea of forever, to the thought of being the only one that Spock really wanted by his side. 

He looked forward to that day.


End file.
